Sometimes it's about more than the obvious SLASH
by needtoknow400
Summary: Gibbs disappears after Mikes funeral and no one can find him. That is until Tony receives a strange letter that explains there may be more than one reason Gibbs disappeared. SLASH Gibbs/Tony Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Sometimes it's about more than the obvious. SLASH Gibbs/Tony

**Summary:** Gibbs disappears after Mikes funeral and no one can find him. That is until Tony receives a strange letter that explains there may be more than one reason Gibbs disappeared.

**Feedback:** Always welcomed and appreciated.

**Author's notes:** Thanks to three great readers/fans from my Facebook page that read the first chapter for me and gave feedback. I took everything each of you said to heart and made some changes. I was so appreciative and amazed at the seriousness of your feedback and suggestions. There were some wonderful suggestions that I had not even considered or thought of, so thank you so much.

If you are up for it, join my Facebook page, link is on my profile. We have a great time over there ;)

As happens a lot with me, I have not had this edited/beta'ed. As always I have tried my best to catch the mistakes, but they do get by some times.

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Thirty two hours, that's how long he had been sitting on this couch. Thirty-two hours, leaving the comfort of this makeshift island of concern only to get something to eat, drink or hit the head. Thirty-two hours of old westerns, classic movies, and the odd detective show when he couldn't find one of the earlier two. Thirty-two hours of calling him, getting no answer, and leaving a message. Thirty-two hours of hitting redial on the phone, getting no answer and leaving a message...again. Thirty-two hours of calling every bar he might be at only to be told they hadn't seen him in weeks.

It had actually all started fifty-six hours ago, after Mikes funeral, when Gibbs just disappeared. No good-byes to anyone, no I'm leaving, no sign of his departure at all. He was there one minute then gone the next. Not unusual for Gibbs, but with the events of the past few months weighing heavy on everyone's mind and heart, worry instantly set in. Everyone had tried to call him, Tony, Abby, McGee, and Ziva. Everyone was sure he would answer when Ducky called, but again it went straight to voice mail. As a last resort they had even made Palmer call, thinking Gibbs would believe something had happened if Palmer was calling him. Still nothing.

That was when Tony finally went to the house and again found nothing. He'd stayed for hours, sitting on the steps, staring at the front door, believing at any minute Gibbs would walk through it. After eight hours of sitting there, his back hurt, his butt was numb and the house had grown completely dark as night set in. He'd gotten two calls while he was there. The first was Ducky. He and Palmer had contacted the hospitals, no one with Gibbs name or fitting his description had been seen or admitted. The second was Abby. She and McGee had tried tracing his cell but it was off. The last call he had made was two days ago to the Chinese restaurant down the street from his house. And no credit or bank card activity. McGee was monitoring Gibbs cell and cards, he used either, they would know.

Deciding there was more he could do, Tony finally left the house. He'd driven to every bar he knew Gibbs had ever went to and some that he just happened to pass along the way. Still nothing. It was after bar forty-six that he gave up and drove home half asleep. That was when he had stumbled into his apartment, fell exhausted onto the couch...and stayed there.

Tony looked at his watch, thirty-two hours and eighteen minutes he had now been on the couch. And he would probably be here another ninety-two, leaving only because that was when the team had to be back to work. They had all been given a few extra days off after Mikes funeral, the loss hitting all of them hard, although no one as deeply as Gibbs. Tony had even been working on an excuse to give to Vance if Gibbs didn't show up for work on Monday. Vance might be their boss, but he wasn't part of the team, they hadn't included him in any of this. They would only involve him if they absolutely had to.

A knock at the door suddenly startled Tony from his thoughts. He stared at the door like some foreign object he'd never seen before and he wasn't sure how to respond to the sound emanating from behind it.

"Who is it?" Tony called out.

"Certified letter for Anthony DiNozzo." A male voice called back.

Who would be sending him a certified letter? Tony glanced around the apartment realizing the complete disarray it was in.

"Mr. DiNozzo?" The voice spoke again.

"Yeah." Tony sighed, finally jumping off the couch and making his way to the door. He cracked the door open slightly looking at the mailman standing before him.

"Signature confirmation required." The mailman held out the letter and a pen to Tony.

"Sure." Tony quickly signed the card and accepted the letter.

"Thanks." The mailman nodded looking at Tony with an odd expression before turning and walking away shaking his head.

Quickly returning to the safety of his private island, Tony studied the envelope. Plain white, letter sized. He held it in one hand. It was heavy, bulky, definitely five or six pages inside. Holding it by the side edge, he held it up to the light next to the couch, too thick to see through. He looked at the return address, his eyes going wide when he focused on one word. _MEXICO_. Oh God, Gibbs had went back to Mexico.

Ripping open the envelope and tossing it aside, Tony unfolded the plain white paper and looked at the first line.

_I'm sure you're wondering why you're getting a certified letter from me._

_Who's me? _Tony picked the enveloped up off the floor and looked at the return address again. The color drained from his face, his mouth dropping open as he read the name on the return address. M. Franks.

His stomach clenched and he clamped his mouth shut swallowing the overwhelming desire to vomit. What the hell? He glanced at the postmark...the day after Mikes funeral.

His first thought was Mike was alive, but if that were the case he would contact Gibbs, not him. Then the thought that it was a joke, some prank...but there was no one cruel enough to joke about this. The next thought was one of those bizarre, movie induced concepts. Mike was haunting him, sending a letter from the grave. He shook his head, that was ridiculous. _Just read the damn letter,_ he told himself.

Again he read the first line.

_I'm sure you're wondering why you're getting a certified letter from me. Well, you need to know a few things, a few things Probie won't tell you. Some things, Probie would kill me for telling you. But then if you're reading this I'm already dead and in the ground, so no worries. I wrote this months ago, when I found out I was on the last leg of this journey, gave it to a friend to mail once I took the big sleep. And no I'm not haunting you. I have better things to do with my after life than haunt your sorry ass._

The statement made Tony chuckled. He was sure Mike was drinking, fishing and getting laid.

_It's hard to decide where to start this story, information, whatever you want to call it, but I guess my part in it starts about eight months after you started at NCIS. Decided to make a surprise visit to Probie's, hadn't seen him in awhile and when we talked, he kept telling me about some cocky new probie he was training. That would be your cocky ass. I had never heard him talk so much about a new agent or about their potential. Hell, he never talked about another agent unless it was to bitch. So I was curious. Showed up unannounced, no big deal, I did it all the time._

_We tossed back a few beers, I told him about Mexico, then I asked about this new agent he kept talking about. I'd read your file, knew the basics about your background, wasn't impressed. Then Probie started talking about you. You're dedication, loyalty, being a fast learner, and someone he knew he was going to come to depend on. High praise from him. But it was when he talking about the personal relationship he had with you that I realized something was different._

_First thing, he actually knew your damn name. Usually he called Probies, Probies or got their names wrong. Plus he'd been to your place, remembered your number without looking it up, and had referred to you by your first name more than once during a conversation. Then I find out you'd been to the house, knew where he lived, he'd never done that before. I asked him what he saw in you, what made you so special and he got this glazed over look and just said he'd seen something in your eyes in Baltimore. Again, I knew something was different about his relationship with you, but never guessed what it was._

What was it? Tony thought to himself. He knew Gibbs saw something in him, quoted rule five, but he never really knew what he saw. At that point in his life and career, he was young, didn't stay at a job more than a few years, wasn't a lot to be impressed or excited about. And his relationship with Gibbs, well that was a mystery even to him most of the time. They were close, he understood that, but it was completely different than Gibbs and Franks relationship. He would have loved to have that kind of relationship with Gibbs, but it never happened. It seemed every time the two of them got closer, Gibbs would pull back. He had pushed for a reason once and it had gotten him a week of silence from Gibbs. After that he never brought it up again. He shook his head and went back to the letter.

_After that visit he stopped talking about you to me. Just like that. I would have to ask how you were doing, prod him to get even a basic answer of, "He's fine." So I stopped asking and didn't hear anything about you again until after that crazy bitch drugged you and held you with that Marine in the sewer._

Yeah, Tony remembered that all too well. Nothing scares you shitless more than realizing you've been drugged and have no idea what is about to happen to you.

_I actually probably wouldn't have heard about it, but I happened to call Jethro that night it happened. I could tell he was upset, distracted, had something on his mind. Took me almost an hour to finally pull it out of him. He told me the story of what happened to you, told me it was a mistake to let you follow Sacco alone, and he should have know better. Said he was afraid he had lost you when he picked up your phone in the road. For some reason, I let it go. I know what it's like to think you might lose an agent, it gets to you._

He wanted Gibbs to be worried about him, but Gibbs had never let it show that he was. Gibbs had joked about it, told him he was irreplaceable, but again it had been a joke. Never once did he think Gibbs had truly been worried and upset.

_During our next conversation, he mentioned you, just in passing. Said you were becoming a good agent, just like he knew you would. That was it. Even during later conversations when I pushed again, he didn't budge, never said a word about you. I started to think you'd pissed him off or that you turned out not to be as great as he thought you would be. Figured he was covering his bad judgment by just not talking about you. I was waiting to hear you'd quit or got canned, but that info never came._

_You opening that damn SWAK letter like a dumb ass, was the first time Jethro specifically called me to talk about you. He called that night, you were sick, still fighting, but no one was sure if you were gonna make it. It started with him so sure you were gonna be fine. He said you were healthy, strong, stubborn, you wouldn't give up, you'd fight and win. Then the conversation went on and the realist and the fear set it. He'd seen how weak you were, the pain in your eyes, and knew you were losing the battle, but he prayed you'd win the war. He wanted to take your place, said it should have been him._

_But it was when he stopped talking, during the silence, when I finally understood. Could've knocked me over with a feather, completely shocked the hell out of me and that ain't any easy thing to do. I've pretty much seen and heard it all, but when I realized what he hadn't been telling me...Damn that was like someone telling me there had been a mistake and the world really was flat._

_I listened to his silence for half an hour before I ordered him to take a shower, go to bed, check on you in the morning. That if you were as strong and stubborn as he said you were, you'd fight and win. We were both right, you made it. When I called the week you went back to work, he had nothing to say about you again. Told me you were fine and changed the subject. At least this time I knew why he didn't wanna talk about you._

What the hell had Mike figured out? Tony blew out a long breath. He never realized Gibbs had been so affected by his brush with the plague. Gibbs had ordered him not to die, and he knew that was Gibbs way of saying he was worried and cared, but he hadn't thought twice about it. He'd only seen Gibbs once during his two weeks off after he left the hospital. Gibbs had showed up out of the blue, dropped off some paperwork he was suppose to fill out for his leave time. They talked a few minutes, Gibbs was probably there a total of ten or fifteen minutes, then left. He didn't see Gibbs again until he went back to work. So what the hell had Mike figured out from Gibbs being concerned about his bout with the plague? Shaking his head, he went back to the letter_._

_Kate's death was the next I heard your name from his lips. He was telling me the shock and anguish he felt when he saw your face covered with her blood and the horror in your eyes. That was a rough time, he talked, I listened, countless phone calls happened about Kate's death. Eventually, he called and his mood had changed, you never get over an agents death, but you get past it. Ziva's arrival created a new mixture of feelings for Jethro. He trusted her, knew she would change the dynamic of the team, and in some way she helped all of you deal with Kate's death. The problem was she also forced Probie to face feelings he wasn't ready to face. I'll get back to that._

Tony stopped. Did Gibbs have feelings for Ziva? The two of them did have an unusually strong bond, Gibbs accepted Ziva long before everyone else did. But it always seemed like a father daughter relationship to him, never sexual. Gibbs was a good looking man, Ziva an attractive woman, wouldn't be the first time an older man got all hot and bothered over a younger woman. Tony's body shivered, that thought just gave him the willies, it was hinky! Super hinky. Gibbs would never go for Ziva and not just because she wasn't a red head.

_It was during Jethro's little hiatus to Mexico that we finally talked about the truth. I kept my mouth shut the first week, gave him some time to heal after what had happened, the coma, losing his memory all that shit. But towards the end of that second week, it was time. I knew the truth but I wanted to hear it from him and he needed to admit it to himself._

_We were on the porch, drinking a beer when I told him I knew. He denied it, yelled and screamed at me like I was Satan himself. I let him, he need to do it and I was the only available target. Then he just stopped, sat back down, looked out over the ocean, sighed and said I was right._

_Now I'd like to think you have even a little idea of what I'm talking about, but since I know you, and your head is almost as thick as Probie's, I'm sure you have no fucking idea what I'm talking about. Hell if you had a clue, I wouldn't need to write this damn letter to tell you the truth._

Tony rolled his eyes. Nice to know that Mike thought so highly of him.

_It's probably easiest if I just say it. Come right out and tell you straight up. So here goes. He's in love with you._

The letter fell from Tony's hand, as his lungs suddenly stopped taking in air, his eyes went wide and he felt as if he was about to pass out.

This had to be a dream, had to be. He pinched his arm.

"Ouch."

Okay not a dream. Then maybe some really sick joke, but Mike wouldn't do that, and he wouldn't do something like this to Gibbs. Taking a deep breath, Tony ran his hands through his hair, then blew the breath out. He needed to know more before he could totally process this. He picked up the pages of the letter, putting them back together then started reading again.

_Well you either shit yourself, passed out, or dropped the letter not believing what you read. I'm hoping it's the last one. And to answer your question, it's not a dream and it's not a damn joke, even I'm not that much of an asshole to play a joke like this._

_He loves you, has for years, pretty much since you came to NCIS. I think he fell in love you the moment he met you in Baltimore, although he says it happened gradually after you started at NCIS. I let him think I believed that, but I know love at first sight when I see and hear it. Him even admitting it is a feat in and of itself so I don't push the love at first sight bit. Shit, Probie in love with another man, even I have a hard time admitting it. Not that I care, I don't give a shit who anyone wants to fuck, but come on Probie! I originally thought maybe it was all those failed marriages that had something to do with him falling for you. Turns out you weren't the first nut he'd wanted to crack._

_Anyway, after our little chat, we spent a lot of time talking about you. How he felt about you, why he didn't tell you, why he said he'd never tell you, and anything and everything else that had to do with you. It took almost three weeks for him to tell me all of it, everything he needed to say. I listened to all of it, just letting him get it all of his chest. I don't know if it helped, maybe it did. When he was done, I waited. Waited a couple days to see if he'd ask for my opinion, my suggestions, but he never did. So I gave them, whether he wanted them or not._

_I head slapped him and told him what a dumb ass he was. Then I told him to tell you how he felt. Love don't come around that often and life is too short to waste time when it does. I knew he wouldn't listen, he'd already explained to me why he couldn't and wouldn't tell you. And it had nothing to do with rule twelve. So what were the reasons, damn there were a lot. I remembered the ones that made sense, forgot the ones that didn't. I'll give you the edited version, the reasons I believed were rational reasons not to tell you he loved him._

Oh God. Tony groaned. He could give a hundred reasons for anyone not to love him or tell him they loved him. Probably some of the same reasons Gibbs had given Mike.

_I'm sure you know the first reason._

Of course. Tony sighed.

_You do have a reputation with the women, although I'm sure half is wishful thinking, and the other half is largely exaggerated. Not that it matters. Still hard to imagine a man who likes women so much ever wanting another man. For him that was a big reason not to tell you. And I told you I'd get back to that Ziva making him face feelings he wasn't ready to face. He believes you and Ziva, are or wanna be more than friends. Hell, I even thought it at one point. Think one of the reasons he believed it was those undercover tapes from the hotel!_

That assignment was going to haunt him the rest of his career. Between the FBI taping his fake sex with Ziva and him showing his penis to everyone in MTAC, it constantly came up. Sure he flirted with Ziva and she flirted back, but it was nothing. And it would always be nothing. They had never and would never! Flirting was just part of his genetic make-up, one of those DNA traits from his father. Plus rule twelve. Tony suddenly scrunched his face up, realizing he'd broken that, not with Ziva but EJ. That had definitely pissed Gibbs off and in the end, as always Gibbs had been right about that.

_Friendship, now that is something Probie takes very seriously and telling you how he feels could ruin that. He couldn't handle losing that friendship, he values it too much. You're one of the few people he trusts, respects and believes in, not something he's willing to risk. Especially when he believes, you don't feel the same way._

Wow, he never realized Gibbs felt that way about their friendship. He always did most of the talking when they were together, seemed like he needed Gibbs' friendship more than Gibbs needed his. And nothing could ever destroy their friendship, nothing. Gibbs could tell Tony he was serial killer, like Dexter killing because he believed it was justified and Tony would accept it, probably fight the good fight with him. That was how much Gibbs friendship meant to him. Tony would take a bullet for Gibbs, not because it was expected but because he would truly give his life for the man.

_Which is really the big reason, he refuses to tell you how he feels. He believes there is no possible way you could see him as anything other than a friend. Believes there is no way in hell you have feelings for him, especially love._

The writing on the page suddenly jumped and blurred. It took him a moment but he realized it was because his hands were shaking. Laying the letter down on the coffee table, Tony ran his hands down his face and took a deep breath. Then he rolled his shoulders and shook out his arms trying to remove the trepidation and nervousness from his body. He knew what was coming next, knew because Mike was an investigator and would have figured it out.

Picking the letter back up, he steadied himself and started reading again.

_But we know differently don't we? I knew the first time I saw you look at Jethro that friendship wasn't the only thing on your mind. The way you looked at him when you knew he wasn't watching. Always standing a little too close, trying a little too hard to please him, and the way your face lit up when he was around. You got it bad, probably as bad or worse than him._

_And just like that stubborn bastard, you can't open your mouth and admit it. I should have just head slapped you both, locked you in a room until you both admitted it, then I wouldn't have to write this fucked up letter. I don't know what it's gonna take for either of you to admit how you feel. Hell, you'll probably both go to the god damn grave not having said a fucking word._

_But I'm hoping I have better luck with you than I did with Probie. So here's the bottom line. He loves you, you love him, deal with it. I'm sure right now, Probie took off wanting to deal with my death alone, but that's not what he needs. What he needs is you and only you. _

_This could play out two ways. Either he's gonna pretend he's fine, go on as if he's dealt with it and bury it deep. Or he's gonna shut down. Either way he's gonna be a jack ass and a bastard. There's gonna be a lot of anger, a hell of a lot of anger and he's gonna take it all out on you. The anger isn't just about my death, it's gonna be about you and his feelings. And it's gonna get ugly. How the anger will manifest I'm not sure, but it will be about you._

_So the final question is, do you love him enough to go to him and get it through this? Even if it means taking a mental beating to get to the love._


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Sometimes it's about more than the obvious. SLASH Gibbs/Tony

**Summary:** Gibbs disappears after Mikes funeral and no one can find him. That is until Tony receives a strange letter that explains there may be more than one reason Gibbs disappeared.

**Feedback:** Always welcomed and appreciated. Thank you so much to everyone that left feedback on the first chapter. As always, I am overwhelmed and appreciative of all feedback on the first chapter. Thanks so much. I hope everyone enjoy this next chapter.

**Author's ****notes:** As happens a lot with me, I have not had this edited/beta'ed. As always I have tried my best to catch the mistakes, but they do get by some times.

If you are up for it, join my Facebook page, link is on my profile. We have a great time over there ;)

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_So the final question is, do you love him enough to go to him and get it through this? Even if it means taking a mental beating to get to the love._

Tony threw the letter down, tossed his head back on the couch and blew out a long breath. Did he love Gibbs enough? That was a stupid question. He'd loved the man for so long he couldn't remember a time when he didn't. There just seemed to be an instant attraction, Tony had felt it the first time they met in Baltimore. The way Gibbs leered down his body when he tackled Gibbs to the ground. His jeans had gotten uncomfortable tight and he had stayed straddling Gibbs' body longer than necessary. When he finally let Gibbs up, he had to keep pulling his jacket together over his crotch to hide his hard on. Still, he had the feeling Gibbs knew exactly what he was trying to hide. That was why when Gibbs called him, asked him to come see him at NCIS, he showed up. And he made sure to show up looking hot in his tight jeans, black t-shirt, and leather jacket. He actually believed Gibbs had asked him there because Gibbs wanted him. And he wanted Gibbs. Wanted Gibbs to just pull him into a conference room, a closet, hell the bathroom, and just take him. Didn't matter that he was engaged, he wanted Gibbs, would have walked away from it all to have him.

Never once did he imagine Gibbs had called him there for a job. He was shocked, surprised and completely disappointed when Gibbs pointed towards the human resources door, then walked away. He really believed that over time the feelings would fade, but it only got worse as they worked together and became friends. So did he love Gibbs enough to get him through this, absolutely.

"Just one problem Mike." Tony sighed. "I have no fucking idea where Gibbs is."

Gibbs knew how to go off grid, knew everything they would try to find him. How do you find a federal investigator when he doesn't want to be found? He'd been racking his brain about that for days. Maybe Mike would help with that too. Tony picked the letter back up.

_I'm sure he's already taken off, probably disappeared right after my funeral, and you've tried everything you could think of to track him down. I can tell you he's one of two places. I left a house in D.C. for Leyla and Amira, told them to stay close to Probie for awhile until Leyla decided where she wanted to go. He might be there, helping them get settled. If he's not there, then he's on the boat I left for him. Yeah, a big old sail boat. The address of the house and the name and address of the Marina are at the end of this letter. Start at the house, I'll guarantee he's at least been there._

_Now get your ass in gear and go._

Tony stood up and grabbed his car keys from the table, he was just about to head to the door when he stopped. He looked down at himself realizing he was in just boxers. Getting dressed would be a good idea! Lifting his arm, he smelled his arm pit and made a disgusted face. Shower, then clothes!

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Tony pulled up to the house, about an hour later, surprised to see Leyla and Amira sitting on the porch swing.

"Tony." Leyla smiled as he came walking up the steps to the house

"Hi." Tony nodded, then smiled at Amira. "Hi Amira."

She smiled and waved, curling up closer to her mother.

"He left days ago." Leyla sighed.

Tony cocked his head, eyebrow raised.

"I tried to get him to stay."

Tony nodded.

"He made sure the house was secure, that we had everything we needed." She paused looking down at her daughter. "Played with Amira for awhile. Then left."

"Did he tell give you any way to reach him?" Tony asked.

She shook her head. "He said to call you if we needed anything."

Tony chuckled. "Of course he did."

"But he said he would check in with me next week."

"Okay." Tony sighed. "And I know this is a stupid question but he didn't tell you were he was going did he?"

"No, but you already know." She smiled. "You received Mike's letter."

"You know about that?"

"Yes." She nodded.

"So you think he's at the boat?"

"Probably. He believes no one knows about it." She stood up. "It would make sense to hide there."

"How was he...when he left?" Tony asked the concern and worry evident in his voice.

"Tired, close to shutting down, still not dealing with it." She touched his cheek. "Needing someone."

The touch made it clear she knew everything Mike had talked about in the letter.

"I just hope he'll let me be that someone."

"He will." She smiled pulling her hand away. "You are the only one he will let help him, whether he admits it or not."

Another nod. "You two okay?"

"We will be."

"You know, you can always-"

"I know." She smiled. "And thank you."

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Pulling up to the Marina, Tony stopped the car, looking around, only a few boats were docked. It was a beautiful day, great day to be out on the water. Climbing out of the car, he grabbed the duffel bag and paper bag from the backseat, then locked the doors. No reason to look for Gibbs car, Tony already knew the car and truck were still parked at the house.

He made his way down the pier glancing at the numbers as he passed the mostly empty docks. He stopped when he reached number eleven, surprised the boat was actually there. The boat looked empty, but then Gibbs could be down in the cabin. Taking a deep breath to steady his nerves. He dropped the bags over the side of the boat, then climbed aboard.

Leaving the bags where they were, Tony made his way down the stairs into the hull cabin. He froze as soon as he stepped inside. The cabin was lit only by the light coming through a few portholes on either side of the cabin and the sunlight streaming in behind Tony. Gibbs was leaning against the side of the bed, knees bent up, head tossed back. He was still wearing the suit he'd had on at the funeral, a funeral that had taken place days ago. His tie had been removed and the first few buttons on his shirt were undone. Although his eyes were closed, Tony knew he was awake. His breathing was to erratic, his face in a scowl as if in physical pain.

"Get out." The voice was eerily calm.

Taking a few steps closer, Tony stopped when Gibbs' eyes opened.

"I said get out." Still the voice was calm.

Tony took another few steps, stopping when he was standing right beside the older man.

"Don't make me say it again." Although still calm, the voice now contained that commanding tone.

"You can say it all you want." Tony paused. "I'm not leaving."

Gibbs eyes closed again. "I don't want you here."

"I didn't ask what you wanted."

Lifting his head up, Gibbs glared up at the man standing beside him.

"Glare all you want. I'm staying." Tony walked back out of the cabin, returning with the bags in his hands. He put the paper bag down on the table in the small kitchen area, then tossed the duffel bag on the end of the bed.

Gibbs watched the younger man as he started pulling food from the bag and sticking it in the fridge or on the counter. Then he reached into the duffel bag and pulled out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. Looking around the cabin, Tony's eyes stopped on a small bathroom

Finally, Tony walked over in front of Gibbs then dropped down to his knees staring at the man before him.

"You need a shower." Tony paused. "And clean clothes."

Gibbs eyes narrowed, staring at Tony as if he had just spoken a foreign language.

"Don't make me say it." Tony sighed.

Silence.

"Boss you stink." Tony smirked. "And sooner or later the flies are gonna start circling."

Gibbs eyes narrowed further.

"I'll do it." Tony smiled.

Still nothing.

"Okay." Tony's hands reached out touching a button on Gibbs' shirt and slipped it from its position. Then he unbutton the next one and the next.

As Tony was about to reach the fourth one, Gibbs grabbed Tony's wrists pulling them away and holding them together in front of his body.

Tony swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat but didn't try and pull away.

"Please Gibbs." Tony sighed. "I just want you to get a shower and put on some clean clothes."

"Then will you leave me alone?" Gibbs asked still in that hinky calm voice.

"No." Tony shook his head.

"I don't want you here." Gibbs jaw was clenched as he spoke.

"To damn bad." Tony's eyes refused to look away from Gibbs. "Now get up and get in the shower or I will undress and throw you in myself."

Gibbs released Tony's wrist, pushing them away.

Standing up, Tony extended his hand offering it to Gibbs.

Gibbs rolled his eyes and stood up, ignoring Tony's offer of help. Grabbing the clothes from the bed, he pushed passed Tony and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door closed behind him.

A few minutes late Tony heard the water running and he finally let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Food, that was next. He pulled out a container of Chinese he'd picked up on the way, opened it and placed it in the microwave. Chinese food was always the easiest and most likely way to get Gibbs to eat. He put a pair of chop sticks on the table and waited for the microwave to beep.

Before that happened, he heard the bathroom door open and turned around. Gibbs walked out, his hair still wet, he had put the sweats on but the t-shirt was flung over his shoulder.

Tony forced himself not to lick his lips as he stared at Gibbs bare chest for a moment then jerked his eyes up staring into the familiar steely blue eyes.

"Food. Chinese." Tony said just as the microwave beeped.

"I'm not hungry." Gibbs replied sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Again. Didn't ask." Tony pulled the container from the microwave, stuck the chop sticks in the food and walked over shoving the carton towards Gibbs' face.

Gibbs looked up at Tony.

"Eat." Tony commanded. "Unless you want me to force feed you."

Staring at Tony a moment, Gibbs seemed to be deciding if Tony really would do what he said.

"I will force you down on this bed and shove food down your throat if I have to." Tony glared, not realizing how the statement sounded.

Gibbs snatched the carton from Tony's hand and stared down into it.

"I said eat it not stare at it." Tony rolled his eyes before walking over and dropping down on the bench like couch built into the wall of the hull.

Finally, Gibbs took the chop sticks and stuck a bite full into his mouth. After the first taste, the hunger took over and within minutes the carton was empty.

"Do you want some more?" Tony asked suddenly in front of Gibbs again taking the empty carton from his hands.

"No." Gibbs shook his head.

Throwing away the carton, Tony again appeared by Gibbs. "Here."

Gibbs eyebrow went up as he looked at the bottle of water Tony held out to him.

"You haven't had anything in days." Tony chuckled. "Coffee comes tomorrow. You need to hydrate first."

"Coffee hydrates." Gibbs said grabbing the water from Tony.

"Yeah right."

Gibbs took a drink of water and but the bottle on the floor next to the bed. "Stop staring at me."

"Get some sleep." Tony again spoke it as a command turning to walk away. He felt the hand on his forearm, the grip tight and it force him to turn around.

"Tony." Gibbs paused. "I don't want you here."

"Yeah I get that." Tony sighed.

"Please." Gibbs' eyes begged. "Leave."

"No."

Gibbs was immediately on his feet, nose to nose with Tony, staring down the younger man.

"I asked you nicely." Gibbs' jaw clenched. "Don't make me throw you overboard."

Tony glared back at Gibbs. "I'd like to see you try."

They stood there, locked in a stare. Normally, Tony would have already backed down, but he stood his ground.

"You're not the boss here." Tony's eyes softened slightly. "So you have two choices."

Gibbs eyes narrowed.

"Lay down and try to get some sleep." Tony's eyebrow went up. "Or try and pick my ass up, carry me onto the deck and throw me over the side."

"Or a third." Gibbs added. "I knock you out and drag your ass onto the deck and throw up onto the pier."

"Go ahead." Tony shrugged.

Gibbs searched Tony's face, again trying to decide just what the younger man might do.

"Not worth my time." Gibbs scoffed dropping back down onto the side of the bed.

"Then get some sleep." Tony walked back over to the bench and laid down closing his eyes.

Accepting the fact the Tony was not going to leave at this point, Gibbs laid down onto the bed. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Tony shouldn't be here, the younger man was in no way prepared to deal with how this would play out. Gibbs knew the stages of dealing with loss, had been through them before. He was long past denial and bargaining, knee deep in anger and depression with acceptance far off on the horizon. And he knew how the anger and depression affected him, knew there would be no way to contain it. With Shannon and Kelly he had an outlet for the anger, a sniper rifle and a target. With this, the target was gone, but it had been an empty hollow finale, completely unsatisfying.

The anger would come, demand retribution, and he didn't want Tony here for that. Because when it happened there would be no way for Gibbs to control it.

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Rolling over, he groaned, his body ached and his head was throbbing. He took a deep breath and inhaled the scent he hadn't smelled in days...coffee. Gibbs opened his eyes, then shot up in bed.

"He didn't!" Gibbs growled jumping up and running onto the deck. The Marina was gone, they were now surrounded by water. "TONY!" He screamed.

When no reply came he screamed the name again. "TONY!"

"Yeah." Tony came around from the back of the boat, dressed in just a pair of khaki shorts.

"What the hell are you doing?" Gibbs barked.

"Sailing."

"How the hell do you know how to sail?"

"Come on!" Tony grinned. "Ten years watching you build boats. I did my homework."

Gibbs clenched his teeth. "Good then turn the fucking boat around and take us back."

"Can't do that." Tony said walking by Gibbs and back down into the cabin.

It took a few minutes but Gibbs finally followed. Tony was sitting at the small kitchen table, coffee in hand, another mug sitting across from him.

"Coffee." Tony nodded towards the mug.

"This isn't gonna work."

"What?" Tony chuckled. "Coffee?"

"This. The commanding, caring Tony act." Gibbs shook his head. "Sailing out to the middle of nowhere to force me to deal with everything."

Tony put his coffee down and stood up. "First off it's not an act. I actually care about you. Whether you like it or not.

Gibbs just stared at the younger man.

"And secondly, no one forces you to do anything."

"Glad you understand that."

"I just wanted to go for a sail." Tony shrugged. "That's all. Maybe take a swim."

Gibbs rolled his eyes.

"Now drink your damn coffee." Tony smirked.

################################################################################

Gibbs had been laying on the bed staring up at the top of the hull since after lunch. A lunch that Tony suggested he sit at the table and eat. Shortly after he had laid down, Tony had disappeared up to the deck and Gibbs hadn't seen him in hours. Part of him wanted to go see what Tony could possibly be doing, but the anger and stubbornness inside him refused to let him get off the bed.

"God the water is perfect!" Tony smiled entering the cabin a towel wrapped around his waist, clothes in hand.

Sitting up on his elbows, Gibbs eyes skimmed down Tony's body realizing there was nothing under the towel.

"You should take a swim. Might relax you, help you sleep tonight." Tony walked towards the bathroom, pushing the door part way closed as he dressed. "You barely slept last night."

Gibbs sat up on the edge of the bed, staring at the bathroom door as Tony emerged.

Tony grinned. "You do look much more human today. Your color is better."

As usual, Gibbs didn't answer, but he stood up.

Making his way over, Tony stopped before Gibbs. "I'll make some more coffee."

Grabbing Tony by both arms, Gibbs jerked him forward. "How did you find me?"

"I'm an investigator." Tony's eyes danced across Gibbs' face. "A well trained investigator. Trained by the best actually."

"No." Gibbs shook his head. "No one knew about this boat. I just found out a few days ago." He shook Tony. "How?"

Tony cleared his throat. "After looking everywhere for you...I checked Mike's finances and the house and boat came up."

"The boat and house aren't in Mike's name."

"I know." Tony paused. "There in Leyla's, the boat went into your name, when Mike died."

Gibbs steel blue eyes searched Tony's for a moment, surprised and impressed at Tony's investigative work. "Who else knows?"

"No one." Tony moistened his dry lips. "I did everything myself."

"Leyla and Amira?"

"A saw them yesterday."

"They're okay?" It was the first concern and caring tone Tony had heard in Gibbs 'voice.

Tony nodded.

"You shouldn't have come." Gibbs growled, shoving Tony away.

Tony stumbled back a few steps.

"Tomorrow morning, we go back." Gibbs' body shook as he fought down the anger. "And you get off this boat."

"No." Tony snapped.

"Yes." Gibbs snarled. "And that's an order."

"And I already told you, this isn't work, you can't order me around."

"I can and I will." Gibbs pointed at Tony his heart racing, the anger raging through his veins.. "My boat, my rules, and I want you gone."

"Fine, then you can sail us back tomorrow." Tony folded his arms across his chest. "And throw me off like you threatened yesterday."

"Fine." Gibbs barked storming up and out of the cabin.

Making his way onto the deck, he stood clutching the railing, his knuckles turning white from the force of his grip. Taking a deep breath, Gibbs pushed the anger down deeper, burying it further into the pit of his stomach. His pulse still raced, his heart thumping angrily against his chest, his blood surging through his veins filled with fire. He wasn't going to be able to hold it together much longer, it was too much. He needed Tony off this boat, needed Tony as far away from him as possible.

#################################################################################

An hour later, Gibbs came back down into the cabin, Tony was laying on the bench wrapped in a blanket asleep. His mouth slightly open, his breathing low and heavy. Involuntarily, Gibbs' hand gently brushed over Tony's cheek. Tony sighed and seemed to lean into the touch as he moaned. "Jethro."

Gibbs quickly pulled his hand away.

Another sigh and Tony settled again.

A puzzled look crossed Gibbs' face as he gazed down at Tony. Why did Tony say his name like that? It was full of lust and longing. Gibbs shook his head clearing the unimaginable thoughts from his head. He pulled off his t-shirt and climbed into bed. Closing his eyes, he prayed for sleep to take him, prayed that he would wake up and Tony would be gone.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **Sometimes it's about more than the obvious. SLASH Gibbs/Tony

**Summary:** Gibbs disappears after Mikes funeral and no one can find him. That is until Tony receives a strange letter that explains there may be more than one reason Gibbs disappeared.

**Feedback:** Always welcomed and appreciated. Thank you so much to everyone that left feedback on the first two chapters. Two more chapters left after this one! And I promise...this story is rated M for a reason...LOL.

**Author's notes:** As happens a lot with me, I have not had this edited/beta'ed. As always I have tried my best to catch the mistakes, but they do get by some times.

If you are up for it, join my Facebook page, link is on my profile. We have a great time over there ;)

**####################################################**

Tony was startled awake by the groans and cries of the word no. Jumping up, he turned on the light next to him, running over to the bed. Gibbs was thrashing uncontrollably, his body drenched in sweat.

"Gibbs wake up." Tony's voice was calm, but raised slightly as he tried to grab Gibbs' arms unsuccessfully. "Gibbs!"

With super human strength, Gibbs seized Tony by the waist and tossed him down onto the bed.

Completely caught off guard, Tony felt the air rush out of his lungs, as Gibbs' hands pinned his hips down against the bed, Gibbs' body pressed down against his.

Planting both hands flat on Gibbs' bare chest, Tony tried to push Gibbs back, but it didn't work. Instead Gibbs' finger tips dug in harder to Tony's hips. Tony couldn't help it a low moan escaped his lips, a moan that was a strange mixture of pleasure and pain.

Forcing himself to take a deep breath, Tony yelled. "WAKE UP!"

At first Tony thought the loud shout had reached Gibbs, his grip loosened slightly, but then Gibbs rolled, putting them both on their side and crushing their bodies together.

Tony's eyes closed, his body and mind struggling with the confusing mix of wanting to stop this and wanting to let it continue. He grabbed Gibbs' face with both hands. "DAMN IT GIBBS WAKE UP!"

Gibbs' eyes shot open and his gaze locked on Tony. A sudden look of bewilderment covering his face.

"Nightmare!" Tony said staring back into those steely blue eyes.

"What?" Gibbs scowled.

"You were." Tony tried to catch his breath. "Having a nightmare or something."

The images from the haunting dream he had been having flashed across his mind. "Yeah."

"Are you okay?" Tony asked as he tried to quiet his drumming heart.

Gibbs suddenly realized the position they were in. His hands grasping at Tony's hips clamping their groins against each other. His sweat covered body plastered against the younger mans. If anyone would have walked in right now, they would have assumed only one thing about this situation.

Forcing himself to let Tony go, Gibbs balled his hands into fists and dropped back down onto the bed.

"Gibbs?" Tony sat up. "You okay?"

Gibbs somehow managed to nod.

"Are you sure?" Tony asked his body still alive with the struggle that had just taken place.

"Yeah." Gibbs nodded again.

"I'll get you a towel." Tony moved, putting an arm and leg over Gibbs prone body to crawl out of the bed.

Touching Tony's arm, Gibbs shook his head. "No."

"You're soaking wet." Tony sighed, his body hovering precariously over Gibbs.

Gibbs glanced down, again realizing the rather sexual position they were in. Tony's hands on either side of his body, Tony's legs straddling his hips. Shaking his head, Gibbs tried to shake the image from his mind. It didn't work he'd had to many dreams about Tony on all fours to make it go away.

"Go." Gibbs sighed, his hands now clutching at the bed sheets.

Instantly, Tony jumped off the bed running to the bathroom and grabbing a towel. Returning he started gently running the towel over Gibbs' chest.

"Stop." Gibbs growled grasping Tony's wrist.

"Sorry." Tony jerked his hand from Gibbs' grasp and stepped back.

Gibbs ran the towel down his face, then down his arms and chest before tossing it down on the bed next to him.

"I'm fine." Gibbs tried to say it calmly hoping to convince Tony that it was the truth.

"You're not but we don't need to talk about that right now." Tony said just as calmly, but making sure Gibbs knew he didn't believe the words he had just spoken. "You need to sleep."

Gibbs only response was to look up at Tony.

Reaching out, wanting to touch Gibbs and comfort him in some way, Tony's fingers almost touched Gibbs' hair, but again Gibbs' hand grabbed Tony's wrist.

"Don't touch me." Gibbs sighed breathlessly. "Don't ever touch me." He released Tony's wrist and rolled over away from the younger man.

Tony just stood there a moment, staring at Gibbs' back, the sweat beads still glistening on the taunt skin. This whole situation had been nothing like he expected. Sure Gibbs was angry, but it had been a calmer anger than he expected. He was expecting Gibbs to punch the wall, throw and break things. Actually he was fully prepared for Gibbs to try to carry him up the steps and throw him overboard. And after the amazing strength Gibbs had shown tonight, Tony now believed if Gibbs wanted to, he would do it. Something within Gibbs was still restraining the anger, holding it back from having its full retribution. Part of Tony was thankful for Gibbs restraint, but the larger part of him knew Gibbs needed the eruption, needed that release to regain his control over all of this. And like it or not, Tony knew the complete devastation of Gibbs' anger was yet to come and all of it would be directed at him.

################################################################################

For the second time, Tony startled awake, this time by the feel of the boat in motion. He jumped up, his eyes falling on the empty bed.

"Damn it." Tony groaned as he ran up onto the deck. The sails of the boat were completely unfurled, waving back and forth in the strong wind that now drove them back towards the Marina. Gibbs was at the tiller steering the boat back the path they had traveled two days ago. "Gibbs stop."

Tony was suddenly beside the older man trying to pry his hand off the tiller.

"Let go." Gibbs barked. "We're going back and you are getting off this fucking boat."

"NO!" Tony shouted as he finally managed to remove Gibbs' fingers from the tiller.

"Get back inside the damn cabin!" Gibbs stood up, getting in Tony's face and shouting back.

"No!" Tony shouted again.

Gibbs' eyes narrowed as his hands landed hard against Tony's chest. The intense force of the blow causing Tony to lose his balance and stumble backwards. Unable to regain his equilibrium, Tony fell. The back of his legs touching the side of the boat before he toppled over the side, plunging into the cold water.

All Gibbs could do was stand there and watch it happen. It seemed to be in slow motion like some scene from a movie Tony would have watched. It wasn't until he heard the splash and saw the water spray up in large drops and rain down that he ran to the side. Looking down into the water, he waited for Tony to resurface. It seemed like minutes passed and still Tony didn't come up.

"TONY!" Gibbs yelled before diving overboard into the water. His body shivered at the overwhelming cold and it took him a moment for his mind to orient itself to the water surrounding him. Then it hit him. The memory of seeing someone dive into the water, the realization it was Tony, as his agent struggled to free him from behind the steering wheel of the car. He had demanded Tony leave him and help Maddie. She was the one that deserved to live not him. Tony had done it with a desperate look of sadness on his face, but with complete understanding.

He had expected to die that day, welcomed it, wanted nothing more than to be with the people he loved and mourned every day. He had stopped struggling to free himself and just let it happen, let himself drift off to sleep as his body could no longer remain conscious without air. But Tony had saved him, how, he had no idea. All he remembered was Kelly telling him to go back and waking up to Tony doing CPR on Maddie. Never once had he talked to Tony about that day, never thanked him or acknowledged the fact that Tony had risked his own life to save his.

Gibbs saw the legs next to him and looked up seeing Tony's body treading water and his head above the surface. Propelling himself straight up, Gibbs broke through the water, coming up beside Tony.

"Tony." Gibbs said as he fought to catch his breath.

"Yeah, I'm okay." Tony coughed.

Adjusting to the light again, Gibbs stared at Tony. "You're not alright."

"I am."

"Tony." Gibbs' hand brushed across Tony's forehead and Tony recoiled in pain. "You cut your forehead."

"It'll be okay." Tony sighed.

"Let me see." Gibbs wrapped one arm around Tony's waist the other gently touching the area around the wound. Inspecting the cut, Gibbs finally nodded. "It's not bad but we need to get it cleaned up."

"Okay." Tony shivered, praying Gibbs would believe he was shivering from the cold and not his touch.

Maintaining his grip on Tony's waist, Gibbs dragged them through the water to the side of the boat.

"Grab the side." Gibbs said placing Tony's body against the hull. "Can you pull yourself up?"

"I got it." Tony sighed using what little strength he had left to propel himself up and roll into the boat.

Gibbs followed a few seconds later, dropping into the boat, and jumping to his feet. "We need to get you out of those wet clothes and clean that cut up."

He grabbed Tony's hands, helping him to his feet then leading him back down into the cabin.

"Are your clothes in the duffel?"

"I can get them." Tony said rummaging through the duffel bag and pulling out some shorts and a tee.

"Take a hot shower, warm up."

"No." Tony shook his head. "Just need to change and dry off."

"Okay." Gibbs nodded.

"You need to change too."

"I will."

Tony slipped into the bathroom. "Here." He held out a towel to Gibbs.

Gibbs accepted the towel watching as Tony closed the door. _Get a fucking grip!_ Gibbs yelled at himself. He pulled the wet t-shirt over his head and tossed it into the sink, his pants meeting the same fate. Then he quickly dried off and dug through the bag checking to see what else Tony had brought for him. He found another pair of jeans and a sweat shirt, he dressed and then felt the boat jerk. "Shit." He ran back topside.

Without him steering the tiller, the wind had carried the boat in a circle and was taking them back out away from the Marine. He grabbed the tiller and pointed the bow of the boat into the wind, then he ran to the sail and tugged on the halyard drawing the main sail back down to the boom. Tying the sail to the boom, Gibbs finally took a breath as the boat started to slow no longer under the winds control.

Walking back down into the cabin, Tony was coming out of the bathroom.

"What's wrong?" The concern flashed across Tony's face.

"Nothing, I got it." Gibbs shook his head as he approached Tony, touching his forehead by the cut. "Sit."

Tony felt the strong hands press him down onto the bench. Gibbs disappeared into the bathroom returning with a first aid kit. He searched in the kit for a moment then looked up.

"Turn towards me." Gibbs said even as his hand touched Tony's chin positioning Tony's face directly towards him. "This is gonna sting."

"Son of a bitch!" Tony yelled, jerking his head awa from the swab in Gibbs' hand.

Gibbs rolled his eyes and tightened his grip underneath Tony's chin. "Hold still!"

Slamming his eyes closed, Tony's face contorted as Gibbs cleaned and bandaged the cut. After several minutes Gibbs finally spoke again.

"Done." Closing the kit, Gibbs took it back into the bathroom.

"Damn that stung."

"I got that." Gibbs shook his head standing by the bench.

"I'd say thanks, but since you're the reason I have this huge gash on my forehead I think I'll skip that." Tony stood up, glaring at Gibbs. "You really want me away from you that badly?"

"Yes." Gibbs hands balled into tight fists at his side.

Tony folded his arms across his chest. "Afraid you'll hit me?"

Gibbs shook his head.

"Then let me help." Tony sighed.

Gently, so gently, Gibbs place his hand on Tony's neck, it was actually sensual at first, until Gibbs grip tightened and he slammed Tony full force against the wall.

"You can't be here for this." Gibbs growled through clenched teeth. "Please."

Tony's body shivered as the fear seeped in. Gibbs pupils were dilated, his jaw set, even the please sounded animalistic and devoid of it's true meaning.

"We can't survive this." Gibbs roared. "And I won't lose you, not like this."

"You won't lose me." It was a whisper, spoken through the fear.

"Yes I will." The anger boiled and Gibbs wrestled with it trying desperately to cage it yet again. "I'll lose control...you'll hate me for it."

"I could never hate you." Tony sighed, the tension around them thick and sexually charged.

Leaning forward, Gibbs' lips pressed against Tony's ear. "Trust the fear and get as far away from me as possible."

"No."

Drawing back, Gibbs eyes fixed on Tony's, their eyes locked as each fought an internal battle. Gibbs the hunter battling with the desire to devour the easy prey before him or releasing him and continuing the chase. Tony the prey battling between fleeing, saving himself or willingly accepting his fate.

Gibbs set his jaw. "You won't like what happens if I lose control with you here."

Tony's eyes danced across Gibbs' face. "Why don't you let me decide that."

"You have no clue." An evil smirk spread across Gibbs' lips as he focused on a way to use the anger to push Tony away. "You're just a little boy trying to stand up to a man that's ordered you around for years."

Holding back his own growing anger, Tony pressed his lips tightly together.

Again, Gibbs' lips brushed against Tony's ear. "You have daddy issues." Gibbs let out a long deep breath that caressed Tony's neck and ear causing the younger man to shiver. "But I'm not your daddy."

"I don't want you to be." Tony said his voice shaking. "And I never thought of you that way."

"You're just like him." Gibbs snickered. "Nothing but a walking punch line, hiding your dysfunction behind jokes, cocky and arrogant, chasing and fucking anything in a skirt over the age of eighteen."

Tony's fingers clawed into his palms, his knuckles white from having his hands balled into tight fists at his side. He could barely breath as the words struck like a fist to his gut.

"Which one of you fucked Ziva first?" Gibbs asked.

Tony's eye widened for a moment.

Gibbs grinned. "Did you fuck her, tell your dad how good it was, then he took his turn?"

"Why don't you ask Ziva." Tony said through gritted teeth. "I'd love to see her drop you on your ass."

"You two are perfect for each other." Gibbs paused. "Both of you with deep daddy issues."

"Funny I always thought you fucked her." Tony leaned forward slightly. "Figured she called you daddy the whole time."

Gibbs glared at Tony, the anger gaining fuel.

"Did Jeanne want a daddy figure too?" Gibbs asked his head slightly cocked. "No, that was just an assignment that you fucked up by falling in love."

The words landed another blow. Tony had loved Jeanne, in some odd, stupid, irresponsible way. The whole time knowing it was wrong, would never work, but still the loss had hurt, but then Gibbs knew that.

"You can pick em." Gibbs chuckled. "She did turn out to be just like her daddy. Setting you up for murder like a pro. Daddy taught her well. She played you even better than you played her." There was a paused then Gibbs sighed. "But that wasn't even your biggest fuck up was it."

Tony's body shuttered. He knew what was coming, knew Gibbs still blamed him for it, even though he said he didn't.

"Was it Ziva or some other pussy you were chasing when you left Jenny alone to get killed by four gun men?"

That was the final blow, straight across the jaw, TKO. No one, not even Gibbs regretted that day more than Tony. It still haunted him. He had nightmares about that, woke up in a cold sweat, then drank himself back to sleep. Even though everyone told him it wasn't his fault, that he wasn't to blame, he blamed himself. He should have listened to Ziva, should have taken the assignment seriously, taken his job seriously. But he didn't. It was all about fun in the sun, to hell with everything else. He knew he fucked up, didn't need Gibbs or anyone else to remind him.

"Interesting that Mike was the one that she called for help and not you." Gibbs paused. "She knew who she could rely on and it sure in hell wasn't you."

Tony's eyes closed for a moment as he struggled to fight through the anguish Gibbs words had caused. Taking a deep breath he opened his eyes again, staring into steely blue.

"Ironic that Mike was the one she thought she could rely and he was out back fucking around when she took those bullets that killer her."

Tony didn't even flinch, as the fist hit the hull next to his head. Gibbs hand stayed there for what seemed like hours as he continued to stare at Tony. When Gibbs finally pulled his hand back he turned and walked out of the cabin. For the longest time Tony just stood there, the fear still holding him in place. Fear that Gibbs would come back and find even more of his fuck ups to beat him around with. Realizing Gibbs wasn't coming back in, Tony slid silently down the wall and to the floor. He tossed his head back as he ran his hands down his face, his entire body trembling from the emotional beating and memories Gibbs assault had stirred up.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Title: **Sometimes it's about more than the obvious. SLASH Gibbs/Tony

**Summary:** Gibbs disappears after Mikes funeral and no one can find him. That is until Tony receives a strange letter that explains there may be more than one reason Gibbs disappeared.

**Feedback:** Always welcomed and appreciated. Thank you so much to everyone that left feedback on the first three chapters. I appreciated it so much. I was so overwhelmed by the fact that so many people were moved by the third chapters and I really did want everyone to be upset with Gibbs. Again, thank you, thank you for enjoying the story and being so kind in the reviews! It means more than I can say!

**Author's notes:** As happens a lot with me, I have not had this edited/beta'ed. As always I have tried my best to catch the mistakes, but they do get by some times.

If you are up for it, join my Facebook page, link is on my profile. We have a great time over there ;)

**###################################################**

It had been hours since the heated exchange had taken place. Tony was still sitting on the floor, his knees pulled up, head against the wall, arms resting on his knees. He had run the gamut of emotions in the hours he had been sitting here. The self loathing came first. Being forced to face his own issues and fuck ups that he tried to bury deep inside can do that to you. Then came the anger, as he wanted to go out and beat the hell out of Gibbs physically, to repay him for the emotional beating he had just taken. After that was forgiveness. He knew how hard all this was for Gibbs, knew everything said was to push him away, get him to leave or just to build hate. Now he was in the worry and concern stage. Worried that he hadn't heard even a small noise from on deck, no movement, no indication that Gibbs was even still on the boat. But where would he have gone? If he had jumped overboard, Tony would have heard the splash. No, Gibbs was up there, probably sitting there staring out at the water hoping it would calm him. That or he had fallen asleep, one of the safest ways to avoid the emotions plaguing him. Tony knew Gibbs wasn't thinking about an apology, but hopefully he wasn't preparing for another round.

Glancing out the porthole, Tony realized it was long past dusk and was quickly getting darker and the temperature had dropped considerable. The nights got cold out here and letting Gibbs sleep out in the cold night air was not a good idea. As much as part of him hated the thought, he knew he needed to go check on Gibbs.

The concern finally motivated Tony to move. Pushing himself up the wall his legs wobbled slightly as he took the first few steps. His face scrunched up in pain. His legs had fallen asleep and he felt the pins and needles with every step. Cautiously, he made his way onto the deck of the boat, his eyes taking a moment to adjust to the dimness of the night around him. Stopping at the top of the steps, he saw the other man across from him. Gibbs was sitting against the side of the boat, in the same position Tony had been sitting in for hours, except Gibbs' head was in his hands.

Calming his growing nerves Tony spoke.

"You should come inside." Tony whispered, as if any loud noise would startle the animal within the man. "It's getting cold."

Raising his head, Gibbs looked over at Tony.

Tony felt his body shiver, telling himself it was from the cold night air, but knowing it was because of the look on Gibbs' face. A look that was a bizarre mix of remorse and rage. It wasn't over, Tony knew that now, there was more to come.

"Please." Tony's voice was still calm and quiet. "Come inside."

Gibbs nodded

"I can make some coffee...to warm you up." Tony forced a half smile.

Another nod.

"It's gonna be okay." Tony voice was barely audible.

Again a nod.

"I'll start the coffee." Ducking back inside, Tony's hands shook as he scooped grounds into the filter, then grabbed the pot and filled it with water. Putting the pot back on the burner, he hit brew and turned around. He stared at the blankets from the bed in a pile on the floor. Needing something to do beside standing and waiting for the coffee to brew. Tony picked them up and tossed them on the bed. That's when he felt it. The arm snaked around his waist and jerked him back.

"You have about one minute before I lose all control." Gibbs whispered against Tony's ear . "One minute until I throw you on that bed and fuck you."

Tony's body shuddered and a low moan dripped from his lips.

"I need you." Gibbs growled as his hand clawed down and squeezed Tony's cock. "But I won't force you...no matter how much I want you."

Tony didn't move, didn't speak.

"Tell me to stop." Both of Gibbs' hands were now at Tony's waist, tearing at the button and zipper on his shorts. "Right now! Tell me to stop and I will."

This time the reply was a moan and a small push back.

"You need to tell me." Gibbs panted. "Because once I have you on that bed, I won't be able to control it and I won't be able to stop...even if you beg me to."

"Why would I beg you to stop?" Tony sighed rubbing his ass over Gibbs' already hard cock.

"Because this is going to be raw and angry" Gibbs grunted. "Nothing loving or caring about it."

Tony whimpered. "I don't care."

Gibbs jerked the shorts down Tony's body, then shoved him forward.

Tony fell with a thud onto the bed, the air rushing from his lungs as his chest hit the mattress. Before he could catch his breath, he felt the presence of Gibbs' above him, felt the strong hands force his legs apart then the weight of Gibbs naked body on top of his.

"Gibbs." Tony sighed breathlessly.

Unceremoniously, Gibbs licked his finger then shoved it deep inside Tony's ass.

Tony's body shuddered at the surprise intrusion.

"Nice and tight." Gibbs growled working his finger in and out a few times before adding another.

An uncontrollable grunt ripped from Tony's lips as Gibbs scissored his fingers inside his ass. Thrusting back, he fucked himself on the digits.

"That's it, fuck my fingers." Gibbs snarled, his cock aching to take the place of his fingers. "Get your tight ass ready for my cock."

Tony tossed his head back as he worked over Gibbs' fingers his own cock now hard and pressing painfully hard against the mattress.

"That's enough!" Gibbs snapped, yanking his fingers out of Tony.

Tony cried out at the loss of sensation.

"Don't worry." Gibbs growled at Tony's ear again. "You're about to get something bigger and better."

The desire came out in a whimper as Tony closed his eyes and waited.

Rubbing his thumb over the head of his cock, Gibbs spread the pre-cum over the entire head using it as some form of lubrication.

Tony felt the pressure against his sphincter and clutched at the bed sheet. He shivered as the head of Gibbs' cock push inside. A deep moan dripped from his lips as he welcomed the new intrusion.

"Like that?" Gibbs whispered.

"Yes."

"Then you'll love this." Gibbs plunged the length of his cock all the way inside Tony.

Tony bit his lip to stifle the scream as his body trembled with a mixture of pleasure and pain.

"So fucking tight." Gibbs groaned as he drew his cock back then slammed in again. His eyes fluttered closed as he reveled in the tight warmth of Tony's ass. "God so good."

Wanting more, Tony rocked back and forth on Gibbs' cock.

"That's it." Gibbs sighed pulling Tony up by his hips. Tony went to his hands and knees willingly.

Gibbs growled lunging into Tony a few times then wrapping an arm around Tony's waist and jerking his torso up.

Tony's back made contact with Gibbs' chest, his knees forced further apart by the new position, Gibbs cock buried to the balls in his ass.

"Feel that." Gibbs moaned. "My cock just filling you up."

Tony whimpered and nodded.

"Rock your hips." Gibbs ordered.

Slowly Tony rocked in Gibbs lap, the movement massaging Gibbs' balls.

"Fuck yes." Gibbs clawed at Tony's hips dragging the younger man faster and harder over his lap and cock. "I could come just like this."

Tony didn't respond, knew no response was wanted or needed.

"But that would be a waste." Gibbs raised Tony up slightly then jerked him back down hard.

"OH GOD!" Tony cried out as Gibbs repeated the action over and over again.

Gibbs left Tony sitting there on his cock as his hands scratched their way up Tony's chest, stopping at Tony's nipples to pinch and squeeze the hard nubs. His lips brushed across Tony's shoulder kissing and nipping at the tender flesh. Then he sank his teeth into the space between Tony's shoulder and neck marking the flesh.

Letting out some guttural cry, Tony reached back clutching at the back of Gibbs' neck wanting the mark, wanting more. And Gibbs gave it, his lips placed a kiss on Tony's neck then bit down hard again. Another cry from Tony as the bit left another mark.

Removing himself from Tony's grip, Gibbs' lips were again at Tony's ear.

"Beg me to fuck you." Gibbs ordered.

"Fuck me. God please." Tony begged.

Gibbs' hand clawed back down Tony's chest and wrapped around Tony's hard cock."You can do so much better than that."

Tony's breath caught in his throat as Gibbs stroked quickly over his length.

"Beg me or I'll stop." Gibbs commanded. "Convince me that you actually want this."

"Jethro fuck me." Tony's body trembled. "Fuck my ass and come inside me. Please Jethro do whatever you want to me. I just want to feel you come!"

As the last word left his lips, Tony's upper body fell forward and he ended up on his hands and knees again. No more words were spoken by either of them as Gibbs frantically pumped in and out of Tony, his hand still stroking the younger man's cock.

Tony felt the release threatened, felt all sanity drift away as Gibbs' madness over took him as well. This is exactly what Tony had wanted for years and the need to come washed over him quickly.

"JETHRO!" Tony screamed as his body convulsed and he dropped to his elbows, unable to hold himself up any longer.

Gibbs felt Tony come in his hand, felt Tony's body tense and tighten around his cock. It didn't matter he continued to lunge in and out of Tony unwilling to give into the pleasure. He leaned forward, slightly.

"Your ass was made to be fucked." Gibbs groaned. "This is what you really want isn't it?"

"Yes."

"A big cock in your ass."

"God yes." Tony sighed.

"You're gonna beg to be my cock toy now aren't you."

"God yes." Tony moaned.

"You'll beg and plead for my come." Gibbs grunted.

"Yes."

"And you'll lay there and take it." Gibbs felt the release building. "Up the ass or deep down your throat."

"Anyway you want me to take it." Tony whimpered.

"TONY!" Gibbs howled as he buried his cock in Tony and came. "FUCK YES!"

The world went white and Gibbs collapsed down onto Tony, his body completely spent and trembling as his cock twitched inside Tony. With a grunt, Gibbs ripped their sweat covered bodies apart and rolled down on the bed next to Tony. It was the last thing he remembered before he was lulled into the first real sleep he'd had in days.

################################################################################

His eyes suddenly shot open and he looked at the top of the hull of the boat. God it had to be a dream. He swallowed the bile that rose in his throat. Please let it be a dream! Slowly turning his head, he closed his eyes again when he saw the naked man asleep next to him.

"Son of a bitch." He mumbled to himself as he ran his hands down his face. Looking back over at Tony, the man looked peaceful. He was laying on his stomach, his lips slightly parted, his arm stretched out, his hand on Gibbs' hip. Carefully, Gibbs lifted Tony's hand from it resting place and placed it on the bed. Tony stirred, pulling his arm back against him, but didn't wake up.

Climbing out of bed, Gibbs silently made his way to the bathroom, quietly closing the door behind him and falling against it.

This is why he didn't want Tony here, knew that the anger would manifest itself in his desire for the younger man. It wasn't supposed to be this way, not with Tony. He wanted Tony, had for so long, but this shouldn't have been how it happened.

Taking a deep breath, he started the water and climbed under the spray. It started off cold making goose bumps appear all over his body. As the water warmed it gently started to relief some of the tension in his aching muscles. But it would never be able to remove it all. Placing his hands flat against the wall in front of him, Gibbs dropped his head and let the water run down his neck and back.

Gibbs didn't move, even when he felt the hands circle around his stomach and caress over his chest. He still didn't respond when the lips dropped kisses across his shoulders.

"Gibbs."

Only silence.

"Jethro."

"I'm sorry." Gibbs sighed and shook his head. "For all of it."

"There's nothing to be sorry about." Tony ran his hands over Gibbs' back.

"You shouldn't have let me-" Gibbs paused. "After everything I said."

Tony wrapped his arms around Gibbs again, this time pressing their bodies together.

For a moment Gibbs accepted the closeness, his hand squeezing Tony's, then just as quickly it was over. He ripped Tony's arms from around his body and stepped out of the shower.

"I didn't want you here." Gibbs grumbled. "You shouldn't have been here."

"I wanted to be here." Tony sighed. "I knew what would happen."

Gibbs body shuddered. "You should have left."

"I _didn't_ want to leave." Tony stepped out and stood before Gibbs. "I _don't _wanna leave."

"Why?" Gibbs asked staring at Tony.

"I love you." It was said calmly, nonchalantly as if Tony had said it a thousand times before.

"You shouldn't." Gibbs shook his head grabbing a towel, wrapping it around his waist and storming out of the bathroom.

Following suit, Tony did the same and stormed after Gibbs.

"But I do and I'm not going away." Tony said a harshness in his tone.

Gibbs turned around, his eyes full of sadness as they met Tony's. "You'll go away, everyone that loves me...everyone I love, always goes away."

"It's been ten years." Tony shook his head. "I'm not leaving."

"Walk away, run away." Gibbs paused. "You'll be better off."

"I don't think so." Tony sighed. "I'm in way too deep."

Gibbs slumped down on the edge of the bed. "You'll get hurt, by me or worse you'll end up-"

Tony went to his knees before Gibbs. "The deaths of people you love, they weren't your fault."

"Yes they were." Gibbs sighed. "Shannon and Kelly, I should have been there, but I wasn't. Jenny. I knew something wasn't right when we finished that mission. And I knew something was wrong in LA, felt it in my gut. And Mike...all because of me. Cobb's weird kinship with me, I should have known he'd come."

"None of those were your fault and no one wanted to leave you." Tony wanted to make Gibbs understand. "And Jenny, if anyone is at fault it's me."

"No. It wasn't your fault." Gibbs shook his head. "You were following orders."

"And so were you, in every one of those situations." Tony let his hand run over the outside of Gibbs thigh. "Shannon and Kelly, you were a Marine, following orders and you don't know that you could have stopped it. Jenny and Mike, work orders. They both knew. Knew what was coming and both went out the way they wanted."

"And you?" Gibbs sighed heavily.

"Hey now." Tony smirked. "I have no plans to check out anytime soon."

"But where will I be-" Gibbs' hand caressed Tony's cheek, his voice shaky. "When something happens to you?"

"Probably standing next to me head slapping me and telling me what a dumb ass I was for getting shot by some bad guy."

The corners of Gibbs' lips curled in a slight smile.

"And do not start on the fact that we put our lives in danger every day and that you could lose me every time we get a call." Tony rolled his eyes. "Because it's always been that way and it will always be that way. But I know you got my back and I have yours."

"I already almost lost you...too many times." Gibbs hated even thinking about that.

"So tell me you love me so we can move on." Tony grinned.

Gibbs was silent a moment, but then nodded. "I do."

A small coy smile played across Tony's face.

"Have for a long time."

"And that's why you didn't want me here." Tony paused. "Because you knew what would happen."

"Yeah." Gibbs took a deep breath. "I knew denying my feelings for you would become the breaking point. Which would make you the target for the anger."

Tony nodded.

"I needed to be in control of something, anything, and taking you gave me control of my feeling about you."

"So you have the control back?" Tony asked.

"No." Gibbs shook his head. "Because I used you."

"In case you didn't notice." Tony smiled. "I wasn't complaining."

"That doesn't make it right." Gibbs ran his hands through his hair. "You didn't ask for that and it wasn't how it should have been."

Tony forced his body in between Gibbs' legs, his hands resting on Gibbs' thighs.

"I wanted you." Tony stared into the steel blue eyes that always made his heart race. "How or why it happened isn't important."

"Yes it is." Gibbs shook his head. "I love you and using you, taking my anger and frustration out on you sexually isn't...isn't how I ever wanted to be with you."

"Jethro." Tony grabbed Gibbs' face staring deep into his eyes. "I let you. You asked me and I let you."

Gibbs didn't respond.

"If I'd have said no, you'd have walked away." Tony needed Gibbs to understand that. "But I didn't say no. I wanted you and I knew exactly what was going on. Okay?"

Gibbs nodded taking Tony's hands and holding them against his chest.

"I didn't mean anything I said earlier." Gibbs kissed Tony's hands. "It was my anger and wanting to push you away.

Tony nodded.

Gibbs shook his head. "And because I'm a dumb bastard."

"Yeah." Tony nodded. "I know. I think the gash in my forehead proves that."

"I didn't mean to-"

"I know." Tony smirked, cutting off Gibbs sentence. "But I know you're a bastard. I know about the ex-wives and the Bourbon."

Gibbs rolled his eyes.

"The long hours at work, the never sleeping." Tony groaned. " The countless cups of coffee and the damn boats."

"And?" Gibbs asked.

"And I still love you and want you." Tony pressed his body closer to Gibbs.

"That's not how I wanted it to be." Gibbs whispered. "Not the first time...not with you."

"How did you want the first time to be?"

Gibbs' hand rested against Tony's neck, his thumb rubbing over his Adam's apple. "I wanted to tell you how much I loved you."

"And?"

"Kiss you." Gibbs said as he captured Tony's lips, tenderly tasting very piece of Tony's lips. Kissing both, then the top and bottom separately. Letting his tongue brush against Tony's mouth he requested entrance and Tony's lips immediately parted. He began his exploration again, relishing in the flavor of Tony's mouth. It was everything he had ever wanted that first kiss to be and more. He slowly let the kiss end, Tony smiling at him as their lips finally parted.

"Your lips are so soft." Tony sighed.

"Okay." Gibbs chuckled amazed that of all the things Tony could say that was what he picked.

"I didn't expect that." Tony took a deep breath. "Your hands."

"What about them?" Gibbs asked.

Tony took Gibbs' wrist, holding the hand up, he ran his finger tips down Gibbs' fingers then brushed the tips.

"The fingers are rough, calloused." Tony sighed, then touched the palm. "But the palms are soft."

"And you like that?"

Tony nodded. "Creates this amazing sensation over my cock."

"Really?"

"Yes." Tony's eyes closed for a moment as he remembered the earlier events. When his eyes opened again they locked on Gibbs.

And Gibbs heart stopped, when he saw that it was all still there. The desire, the hunger, the need and most of all, the overwhelming love. He didn't deserve any of it, Tony deserved better, a hell of a lot better.

"I want you again." Tony sighed. "Please."

Gibbs' finger brushed across Tony's lips. "I think I should show you what the combination of my lips and hands can do to your cock."

Tony moaned and licked at Gibbs' finger.

"Like that idea?" Gibbs smiled. "My lips around your cock."

"Jethro." Tony whimpered.

"I love how you say my name."

"Good." Tony licked his lips. "Jethro?"

"Yes." Gibbs sighed.

"Suck my cock."

Gibbs growled, hauling Tony up and tossing him on the bed.

Tony laughed, no longer surprised by Gibbs strength, but amused by it.

"You deserve better." Gibbs shook his head. "So much better."

"To late." Tony grinned. "I want you."

Gibbs laughed, the first honest happy feeling he'd had.

"And I'm not the catch you think I am." Tony smiled.

"Yes you are." Gibbs placed a kiss on Tony's lips. "You're funny." Another kiss on his neck. "Clever." A kiss to his throat. "Loyal." A kiss to the chest. "Honest." Another kiss moving down his chest. Dedicated." A kiss to the belly button. "Sexy."

Tony chuckled.

Gibbs stopped, placing a kiss at the hairs above Tony's cock, then looked up, their eyes meeting. "Hot as hell."

"How many times have I told you, you need new glasses." Tony grinned.

"No." Gibbs shook his head. "You are amazing."

Tony just rolled his eyes.

Gibbs fingers raked up Tony's hard on, eliciting a moan from the younger man. "Don't, you are-"

"Please Jethro." Tony's body squirmed on the bed.

At the words Gibbs' palm rubbed across the head of Tony's cock.

"Oh God!" Tony groaned his breath catching in his throat.

Gibbs wrapped his hand around Tony's cock slowly stroking over the shaft. His tongue flicked out across the head tasting Tony for the first time.

Tony's body trembled as he watched Gibbs' lick his lips, savoring the taste, then taking another lick. This time Gibbs' tongue dipped into the slit on the top of Tony's cock pressing and licking deep.

"Fuck." Tony cried out. "Are you just going to tease me?"

"Maybe." Gibbs smirked. "Or maybe not."

Tony moaned throwing his head back and closing his eyes, as he felt soft lips wrap around the head of his dick and suck deeply. A second later, Gibbs mouth sank down taking Tony's cock deep into his mouth until the head hit the back of his throat.

"Jethro!" Tony whimpered his hand clawing at the back of Gibbs' head. "Suck it harder."

Gibbs started bobbing over Tony, creating a frenzied pace that kept Tony on edge.

"So good." Tony licked his lips. It truly was. So warm, the perfect pressure, Gibbs' tongue licking up the underside of his cock with each upward movement. Then he felt the finger slip inside him and arched his body. "Oh God!"

Working his finger in and out a few times, Gibbs quickly added another and heard Tony moan again. With each pass of his mouth, Gibbs slid his fingers deeper into the younger man.

"You're gonna make me come." Tony roared.

Oh if Tony wanted to come Gibbs would make him come. Impaling himself on Tony's cock, Gibbs' lips reached the base and sucked hard. At the same time his fingertips brushed against Tony's prostate.

"JETHRO!" Tony screamed as he lost all control. His body tensed as he came buried deep inside Gibbs throat. His head fell back and he melted into the bed, gasping for air.

Gibbs licked and sucked at Tony's cock, until there was nothing left, then crawled back up Tony's body.

"You are full of surprises." Tony panted, still trying to steady his breathing.

"How is that a surprise when I told you what I was going to do." Gibbs smirked.

"Just assumptions I had."

"Right." Gibbs paused. "And what did I teach you about assumptions."

"Never assume." Tony's eyes fluttered open.

"Especially about me." Gibbs grinned.

"I won't." Tony smiled. "Ever again."

"Good."

Tony shoved Gibbs down onto his back and straddled his body, surprising Gibbs with the quickness of the action.

"My turn." Tony smirked.

"For what?" Gibbs asked innocently.

"To suck your cock." Tony licked his lips as his hand squeezed Gibbs cock.

Gibbs groaned thrusting into Tony's hand.

"It's gonna be a very, very long night." Tony sighed.

#################################################################################


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: **Sometimes it's about more than the obvious. SLASH Gibbs/Tony

**Summary:** Gibbs disappears after Mikes funeral and no one can find him. That is until Tony receives a strange letter that explains there may be more than one reason Gibbs disappeared.

**Feedback:** Always welcomed and appreciated. I am always overwhelmed and humbled by all the kind words from all of you. Thanks you, thank you, thank you. Hope everyone enjoys these last two chapters.

**Author's notes:** As happens a lot with me, I have not had this edited/beta'ed. As always I have tried my best to catch the mistakes, but they do get by some times.

Last chapter, it's a little longer but I wanted all of this together to finish out the story. I look forward to reviews. I think this chapter really runs the gamut of emotions, so I'm interested to see what everyone had to say. Enjoy!

If you are up for it, join my Facebook page, link is on my profile. We have a great time over there ;)

**######################################################**

Tony stretched and felt the body against him, he smiled as the images from last night flashed through his mind. He'd never slept that soundly or in this position. He was laying on his stomach, Gibbs' body partially draped over him. Gibbs' head on his back, hand on his left ass cheek, the rest of Gibbs' body pressed up against him. The position was sexy and affectionate at the same time. Wiggling his ass, Tony waited for a response, when none came he chuckled.

"I know you're awake."

"No I'm not." Gibbs mumbled.

Tony laughed. "Good then I can just slip out from under you and get up."

Gibbs smacked Tony's ass. "Don't even try it."

"HEY!" Tony chortled.

"To hard." Gibbs sighed as he massaged Tony's cheek.

"No." Tony moaned. "But if you keep doing that it's going to be very hard."

"I like that idea." Gibbs said dropping kisses on Tony's back.

"As much as I love that idea too, can-" Tony paused. "Can we talk a minute."

Gibbs stopped, rolling onto his side. "Okay."

Tony flipped over onto his back, smiling at Gibbs.

"You're smiling, so whatever you wanna talk about can't be that bad." Gibbs smirked.

"It's not." Tony sighed. "At least I don't think so."

"What is it?"

"Are you okay?" Tony asked.

Gibbs brow furrowed. "Yeah."

"I mean, last night, that first time." Tony chew his bottom lip for a moment. "You just have some sexual explosion, we talk a little bit and your okay?"

Gibbs chuckled.

"Seriously." Tony rolled onto his side. "I mean are you really okay?"

"I'm better." Gibbs arm circled around Tony pulling him closer.

"Better?"

"Better." Gibbs smiled.

"I know losing Mike was hard." Tony swallowed the fear at bringing up the name then continued. "But he'd kick your ass for being like this."

"Yeah." Gibbs sighed. "I know."

"And since he's not around." Tony grinned. "You start getting out of line, I'm gonna kick your ass."

"Oh you think so do you?" Gibbs smirked.

"Yes." Tony glared at Gibbs. "And I'll do it too."

"Okay." Gibbs nodded.

Tony's eyes danced back and forth. "Okay? Just like that?"

"Yeah."

"Are you patronizing me?" Tony glared harder.

"No." Gibbs caressed Tony's cheek. "Next to Mike...you know me better than anyone."

Tony shook his head. "But I feel like I barely scratched the surface of knowing the real you."

"This is the real me."

"I know that." Tony chuckled. "I just...I wanna know I helped."

"You helped." Gibbs nodded. "I promise."

"I can't replace Mike or the relationship you had but-" Tony paused. "I'll be there for you, whatever you need, however you need and whenever you need me."

"I know that." Gibbs' hands brush over Tony's back. "Believe me after that, incident. I know."

"Is that what we're calling it." Tony smirked. "The incident."

"What do you want me to call it." Gibbs sighed.

"The ravaging of my body!" Tony grinned.

Gibbs rolled his eyes, still slightly uncomfortable that Tony could make light of what had happened.

"I wanted it." Tony's hand slipped down between them wrapping around Gibbs hard cock.

"I didn't-"

"No." Tony broke Gibbs sentence. "I wanted you to fuck me. Just like that, hard, out of control, doing anything you wanted to me."

"Tony." Gibbs growled, his hand now clutching Tony's ass painfully hard.

"I would have begged you." Tony moaned working his hand in short quick jerks over Gibbs' cock. "Without you asking."

"You wanted it that bad?" Gibbs asked rocking into Tony's hand.

"Yes and I didn't care how I got it." Tony brushed a kiss against Gibbs' neck then whispered in his ear. "I just wanted your cock buried in my ass."

"God that felt so good." Gibbs panted. "So fucking good."

"But now it's my turn." Tony nibbled at Gibbs' earlobe.

"For what?" Gibbs groaned.

"To make you beg."

"Then make me." Gibbs grunted. "If you think you can."

"Oh I can." Tony drew his head back staring into blue eyes, at the same time his hand left Gibbs' cock.

Gibbs practically howled at being deprived of Tony's touch.

"Something you want?" Tony smirked as he shoved Gibbs down onto his back. He positioned himself between Gibbs' legs, his face so close to Gibbs' cock, that when he let out a breath, it drifted across Gibbs' shaft.

"I want you." Gibbs growled.

"I know that." Tony pushed Gibbs' legs further apart.

"I want you sucking my cock." Although he didn't beg, Gibbs voice cracked with need.

"You know what you have to do." Tony smiled, deciding to venture a guess as to what other assumptions he had made about Gibbs that were probably wrong.

Begging was not really something Gibbs normally did, although as he looked down at Tony something told him he was about to start.

Tony seductively put his finger in his mouth sucking it as if it were a cock. He watched as Gibbs' eyes narrowed slightly. Letting his moistened finger pop slip from between his lips, Tony kept his eyes locked on Gibbs as his hand drifted down. He pushed his finger between Gibbs' ass cheeks and pressed his fingertip against the tight ring of muscles. He was surprised when Gibbs spread his legs wider giving him better access. Sliding his finger inside, Gibbs moaned and tightened around Tony's finger.

"More." Gibbs grunted as he clutched at the sheets.

The request made Tony's cock twitch under him. God he didn't expect Gibbs to like this so much and knowing he did was making Tony even more aroused, his cock was rock hard and his balls ached.

Adding another finger, Tony twisted, bent and thrust his fingers into Gibbs tight ass.

"Fuck!" Gibbs growled. "Suck my cock."

"Beg me." Tony ordered. "And I'll do it."

Letting go of the bed sheet, Gibbs right hand started to reach for his cock.

"If you touch your cock. I'll stop." Tony snapped.

Gibbs stared at Tony, his hand still in mid air over his aching hard on.

"If you wanna jack yourself off. Go ahead." Tony paused. "But I'll climb off this bed and you can do it alone, without my fingers in your ass."

Gradually, Gibbs' hand dropped down by his side.

As if he was giving Gibbs a reward, Tony pulled his fingers almost out and then slammed them back into Gibbs ass.

"FUCK!" Gibbs cried out tossing his head back.

"Jethro." Tony moaned fucking Gibbs mercilessly with his fingers, he knew Gibbs was so close to doing exactly what Tony had asked.

Taking a deep breath, Gibbs opened his mouth, his voice coming out raged and shaky. "Please Tony! Suck my cock, make me come...God make me come."

That was definitely begging. Tony licked up the underside of Gibbs' cock, then wrapped his lips around the head sucking and licking at the pre-cum.

"Goddamn." Gibbs groaned as he thrust into Tony's mouth.

Slowly, Tony's lips glided down over Gibbs' shaft, half way then back up.

"All of it! Please." Gibbs begged. "Take it all."

As he started back down, this time Tony's lips reached the base and stayed there a moment, letting Gibbs enjoy the feeling.

"Yes." Gibbs growled causing Tony to suddenly started working faster over him.

Tony jabbed his fingers in and out of Gibbs in rhythm with the speed of his mouth and he felt Gibbs body trembling.

"Fuck me, suck my cock." Gibbs grunted. "Make me come!"

Tony's mouth worked effortlessly over the length of Gibbs cock, taking all of Gibbs down his throat with each downward motion. Gibbs was so close, so damn close. With another pass over Gibbs cock, Tony bent his fingers slightly and brushed them against Gibbs' prostate.

Opening his mouth to scream, no sound came out, instead Gibbs came with a grunt, as everything faded away and he fell into the blackness. His heart stopped, his lungs took one last breath, his body convulsed and his mind simply shut down.

Tony stayed wrapped around Gibbs' cock until it went flaccid, then kissed his way up Gibbs body.

Gibbs' arm circled around Tony's hips and jerked him down, crushing their bodies together. He just held Tony there as the aftershocks coursed through him. Finally as the world rematerialized, Gibbs spoke.

"No one's ever turned me on the way you do." Gibbs sighed his eyes still closed. "Made me _want_ to beg like that."

"Good." Tony placed a quick kiss on Gibbs' lips, only to have Gibbs grab the back of his neck and deepen it.

Gibbs' tongue forced its way into Tony's mouth tasting himself there and causing the younger man to moan.

Tony pulled back and smiled down. "Oh I have so many things I want to do to you."

"Do you?" Gibbs smirked.

"Oh yeah." Tony sighed.

"I have something I wanna do to you."

"What?"

"A swim." Gibbs smiled.

"Swim?" Tony sounded disappointed.

"A swim." Gibbs kissed Tony's neck. "Jacking you off in the water."

"Oh that kinda swim." Tony grinned.

"Maybe even make love to you in the water." Gibbs spoke between kisses. "Makes it so easy to just bounce you over my cock."

"Jethro." Tony moaned.

"Get up." Gibbs said almost throwing Tony off the bed. The imaged he'd put into his head and the sound of Tony's moan made Gibbs really want to have Tony in the water.

#################################################################################

Tony was smiling, his eyes closed as Gibbs placed small soft kisses on his neck. They had done exactly what Gibbs had promised. Made love in the water, Gibbs' hand wrapped around his cock, making him come. Now they were wrapped in each other's arms, laying on the deck, Gibbs having thrown down a blanket and some pillows.

"Do we have to go back?" Tony sighed, his fingers brushing up and down Gibbs' back.

"Yes." Gibbs replied between kisses. "Work."

"I know." Tony groaned with annoyance.

"We can go sailing on the weekends." Gibbs smiled, drawing back to look down at Tony.

Tony nodded, his eyes staring at Gibbs' chest.

"What's wrong?" Gibbs could sense the change in Tony's mood and body.

"You gonna be okay when we get back?"

"With us?" Gibbs asked.

Tony nodded.

Gibbs eyes focused on Tony. "Yeah. I love you."

That amazing, captivating DiNozzo smile filled Tony's face. "Good because you can't get rid of me now. In fact, maybe I'll just handcuff us together."

"That could be fun." Gibbs smirked.

"Might be a problem to explain at work." Tony grinned.

"Oh God." Gibbs groaned, as the thought of the woman raced across his mind.

"What?"

"Abby." Gibbs sighed.

Tony broke out laughing. "Oh she's gonna have a field day with this!"

"Yeah, she is."

The laughter faded and Tony looked concerned. "Shit. I turned off my phone."

"You probably aren't gonna get any reception out here anyway." Gibbs explained. "Why expecting a call?"

"Abby and everyone." Tony rubbed his face. "We searched for you for days and well, Abby's been checking in with me. If she hasn't been able to find me for four days."

"She's a basket case by now."

"Yeah." Tony paused. "If she's worried the minute I turn the phone on they're gonna come looking for me."

"Out here they'd been lucky to get the location, but they will once we get back closer to land."

Tony grinned. "When did you become Mr. Techno?"

"I do know how to run a trace." Gibbs chuckled. "We'll get the sail up, get a little closer to land and then you can try the phone."

"Good idea." Tony smiled.

################################################################################

Reaching back Tony held up the fork to Gibbs, who took the bite. The sail was up, Gibbs was at the tiller steering them back towards land. Tony was sitting between his knees a plate of pasta in his hands, he would take a bite then offer one to Gibbs. The plate finally empty, Tony put it down and picked up his phone and turned it on. After a moment the phone beeped to life, as he looked at the screen Tony groaned.

"Twenty-two messages!"

Gibbs shook his head.

"And I have reception." As if Tony's words had carried out into the universe and reached the Goths ears, the phone rang and Abby's picture appeared on the screen.

"You might as well answer it." Gibbs smirked. "If you don't they'll be waiting at the Marina when we get there."

"Abby let me explain." Tony spoke quickly trying to get a word in before Abby started talking.

"You disappear for four day, while Gibbs is still missing and you can explain?" Abby huffed. "There is no explanation unless you are with Gibbs!"

"I'm with Gibbs."

Silence.

Tony rolled his eyes and waited. Then he heard the breathing again.

"Did you drop the phone?" Tony snickered.

"Is he okay? Where are you? How did you find him? Can I talk to him?"

"He's fine and you'll see him at work tomorrow."

"I wanna talk to him put him on." Abby barked.

"No." Tony snapped back. "It's been a long few days. You can talk to him tomorrow."

"But I-"

"Abby no." Tony blew out a long breath. "He's fine, I'm fine. We will talk tomorrow at work."

"Why are you at the Habit Marine?"

Tony dropped his head back into Gibbs' lap. Gibbs winked down at him.

"Why does anyone go to a Marine?" Tony smiled up at Gibbs, the question to Abby telling Gibbs she knew where they were.

"Are you on a boat?"

"Yes." Tony chuckled. "And I'm about to hang up."

"Wait can't I-"

"Tomorrow Abby." Tony said ending the call. "I know she's your favorite but she can be a-"

"Pain in the ass." Gibbs smirked.

"God yes!" Tony laughed.

Leaning down, Gibbs' lips stopped just before touching Tony's. "Maybe I have a new favorite."

Tony grinned, only to have Gibbs kiss it away.

"It was that thing I did with my tongue right?" Tony smirked.

A hearty laugh broke from Gibbs' lips. "Yeah, that put you over the top."

#################################################################################

The ride back to the house had been spent in relative silence, Tony focused on the road, Gibbs dosing. When they pulled into the drive, Gibbs grabbed the duffel bag from the back and headed inside. For once, Gibbs found himself actually glad to be home. Turning around, Gibbs saw Tony standing just inside the door.

"I should go, let you get settled." Tony was looking everywhere but at Gibbs. "Maybe you wanna work on the boat. Although, do you need a boat now that you have one? But then you didn't build it, so you probably would prefer one you built. So...boat some Bourbon, get ready for work tomorrow. Maybe a -"

Tony's ramblings were silenced as Gibbs' lips found his. The kiss, soft and tender, not meant to arouse but merely to show affection and love. Drawing back, Gibbs rested his forehead on Tony's.

"The only place you're going is to the couch." Gibbs smirked. "And you'll stay there while I order pizza and grab us beers."

Tony grinned. "Back less than five minutes and you're already bossing me around again."

"On the couch now!" Gibbs barked.

"Okay ground rules right now." Tony held up his hands. "No bossing me around when we are not on the job."

"Are you sure about that?" Gibbs' eyebrow went up.

Tony paused, his mouth slightly open. "Amendment to that. No bossing me around outside of work unless the sexual situation calls for it."

"Right." Gibbs nodded. "Now get on the damn couch."

"That." Tony held up his finger. "Is bossing outside of a sexual situation."

Leaning in, Gibbs cocked his head. "Not necessarily."

Tony's brow knitted, then suddenly raised. "Oh. OH! Getting on the couch now." Tony quickly ran over and jumped on the couch.

Looking over, Tony had his head on one arm of the couch, his legs on the other and he grinned at Gibbs. Shaking his head, Gibbs chuckled and pulled his phone from his pocket.

#################################################################################

Tossing the pizza box in the trash, Gibbs grabbed a couple more beers and walked back into the living room. Tony was laying on his side, his back to Gibbs, looking as if he were asleep. Curling up against him, Gibbs kissed his neck.

"Tired?" Gibbs whispered in Tony's ear.

"A little." Tony sighed. "Someone kept me up most of the night."

"Actually I think it was you who kept me up." Gibbs chuckled.

"Feels like you're up now." Tony snickered.

"Natural reaction." Gibbs said wrapping his arms tighter around Tony. "But I will control myself."

Tony involuntarily rubbed his ass against Gibbs hard cock.

"Um, control is made complicated when you do that."

"Natural reaction." Tony said sounding half asleep.

Gibbs chuckled to himself. Even half asleep, Tony was horny. Closing his eyes, Gibbs took a deep breath and felt sleep pull him down.

###############################################################################

In a sleepy haze he felt the body against him, smiling at how amazing it felt to be in the man's arms and realizing he could stay like this forever and be content. He grinned to himself as the thought entered his mind. Slowly, he pushed the hand that was at his waist down until it rested on his cock and waited. It took only a moment for the hand to gently started to squeeze and rub his cock causing him to moan and rock his hips.

"You really are always horny." The words were whispered in his ear.

"Yes." He sighed. "When it's you."

"I love you." Again the words whispered into his ear.

"I love you too." Tony smiled. He would never get tired of hearing those words.

"Unzip your shirts." Gibbs said sliding his hand away just enough to give Tony access.

Without hesitation, Tony obeyed, then moved his hand away.

Gibbs' hand returned, again rubbing and squeezing Tony's cock but still over his shorts.

"You do love to tease don't you." Tony moaned.

"Only you." Gibbs murmured before his lips caressed Tony's neck.

"Touch me." Tony groaned. "Please."

Gibbs' hand slipped inside Tony's shorts his fingers brushing against Tony's cock.

"God yes." Tony sighed.

"GIBBS! I know you're here. Where...were." Abby froze as she stepped into the living room.

"ABBY!" Gibbs barked as both he and Tony jumped up.

Abby stood there eyes wide, the shock plastered all over her face.

"I told you we would talk tomorrow!" Tony snapped.

A wide grin played across Abby's face and her eyebrow went up. She glanced at Tony's open zipper, then back at his face.

Tony looked down at his crotch, quickly zipping up his fly and trying to adjust himself to hide his hard on.

"A little late to worry about hiding that." Abby smirked.

Gibbs ran his hands down his face.

"And how long has this been going on?" She asked slightly perturbed.

Taking a deep breath, Gibbs answered. "Few days."

"Really and we're already at jacking each other off on the couch?"

"ABBY!" Gibbs shouted.

"Well I guess you two are a little behind. Like ten years behind." Abby grinned.

"What?" Tony looked at her bewildered.

"Hello. You've been drooling over Gibbs since you got to NCIS."

"I have not!" Tony voice filled with annoyance.

Gibbs couldn't help it he smirked.

"Don't you smirk." Tony glared at Gibbs.

"And you're just as bad, just less obvious." Abby smiled at Gibbs.

"What the hell did I do?"

"The head slaps, always up in Tony's personal space." Abby smirked. "Come on head slaps are like some sexual foreplay for you."

"It is not." Gibbs scowled.

Tony made a face. "God, I hope that's not true because you head slap McGeek a hell of a lot and Ziva well that's just-"

The thought was stopped as Tony's head jerked forward from the head slap.

"INAPPROPRIATE!" Tony bellowed rubbing the back of his head.

"See totally foreplay." Abby laughed. "Well at least when you do it to Tony."

"Okay." Gibbs shook his head then looked at Abby. "You know now. Moving on."

"You know Mike is totally up there laughing hysterically at this." Abby smiled but there was a sadness in her eyes. "We always talked about who would be the first to finally admit it or mess up and give it away."

Gibbs chuckled slightly, of course Mike would talk to Abby about this.

"By the way who did make the first move?"

Gibbs rolled his eyes.

"Oh. You did." Abby smirked and nodded at Gibbs. "Damn I lost twenty bucks to Mike."

A surprised look replaced the eye roll.

"You thought I'd make the first move?" Tony asked Abby.

"Actually I thought you'd screw up and give it away." Abby grinned. "Figured Gibbs would catch you staring at his ass or that you'd slip and say something by accident."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"Could be worse." Abby turned to Gibbs. "Mike figured you'd be half drunk, Tony would show up in the basement and you'd just lose all control and take him."

Gibbs had to laugh. "Yeah."

Tony's eyes stopped on Gibbs. "Yeah. That's all you have to say about that?"

Gibbs just shrugged. Truth was, he'd told Mike about that little fantasy.

"Actually I think Ziva lost too." Abby racked her brain trying to remember who Ziva had bet on.

"And McGee?" Tony asked.

"McGee never took the bet, said it was to hinky to think about." Abby tried not to smile.

"Ducky and Palmer?" Tony questioned.

"Ducky said you'd make the first move, so he lost and Palmer won." Abby laughed. "And actually he said it would happen on a boat. Palmer's the man on this one."

"Palmer's a Gremlin!" Tony rolled his eyes.

"Palmer thinks Bossman's hot." Abby smirked.

"Excuse me?" Tony stared at her, a hint of jealousy evident in his voice.

"What?" Abby shrugged. "He just thinks Gibbs is hot doesn't wanna act on anything. He's getting married and the only reason he said that was because we were playing who would you rather do."

"And who were the choices Gibbs or?" Tony's eyebrow went up.

"You." An evil grin spread across her lips.

"Seriously?" Tony sounded offended. "Palmer said Gibbs."

Abby nodded. "McGee said Gibbs too. I said you."

Gibbs eyes widened.

"Gibbs! Choosing you would have been like saying I wanna screw my dad." Abby shivered. "I love you and all but-"

Gibbs rubbed his forehead, how did they reach this point in the conversation.

"Ziva said Gibbs too."

Gibbs sighed.

"But Ducky picked you Tony. He said that-"

"STOP!" Tony closed his eyes and his body shivered. "I don't even want to know."

"Come on Ducky's a sweetheart."

"That's not the point!" Tony half shouted.

"Don't you wanna know who Mike picked?"

"NO!" The two men said it in unison.

Abby laughed. "You know Mike is screaming up there for me to tell you!"

"He can scream all he wants. You're not telling us." Gibbs said as he grabbed her by the arm and led her towards the door.

"Wait!" Abby jerked out of Gibbs grasp and stood before him.

"Abby." Gibbs sighed.

"Are you okay?" Abby tapped her fingers together nervously. "I mean about Mike."

Gibbs took a deep breath and calmed himself. "I'm getting there."

"And Tony?" Abby paused. "You really do love him right?"

"Yeah." Gibbs nodded.

"And he loves you?"

Another nod.

"Mike loved you too you know." She held up her hands. "Not like love you love you, not like Tony loves you, but he loved you."

Gibbs chuckled. "I know Abs."

"And Leyla and Amira. They love you."

"Sure"

"And me, Ziva, Tim, Ducky, Jimmy we all love you."

"There a point here Abs?"

"That there are a lot of people that love and care about you." Abby paused chewing on her lower lip. "So you're not alone okay?"

Taking her in his arms, he kissed her temple. "I know Abs. I know."

She squeezed him tightly. "Just so you know."

#################################################################################

Gibbs walked back into the living room and flopped down onto the couch next to Tony.

"She worries about you." Tony smiled pulling his legs up under him and putting his arm on the back of the couch

"Yeah." Gibbs ran his hands down his face, then looked over at Tony.

"We all do."

Nodding, Gibbs' fingers brushed back and forth over Tony's arm.

"Especially me." Tony grinned climbing onto Gibbs' lap. "I worry a lot."

"Why do you worry?" Gibbs asked, his hands running up Tony's back.

"Well, I worry because evidently most of your team wants to sleep with you and not me." Tony smirked.

Gibbs groaned and dropped his head back.

"Come on I mean seriously. I'm concerned." Tony laughed. "Ziva, McGee, Palmer and what I get the freaky Goth who sleeps in a coffin and-" Tony shiver again. "Ducky."

"Ducky, he's a good guy." Gibbs smirked.

"I'm sure he is and-." Tony rocked his head back and forth. "That's all I'm saying about that."

"What you don't like older men?" Gibbs chuckled.

"Older yes." Tony nodded. "But um...Ducky's just, um...not my type."

"What is your type?" Gibbs asked before his lips dropped to Tony's neck.

Tony sighed and smiled.

"About six foot, silver hair." Tony moaned as Gibbs' lips feasted on his neck. "Blue eyes, sexy as hell."

Gibbs chuckled against Tony's neck.

"And a huge cock."

Drawing back, Gibbs looked at Tony, eyebrow raised. "Huge huh?"

Tony bit his lower lip and nodded.

Gibbs rolled his eyes.

"I need to tell you something."

Gibbs laughed. "What that you were lying?"

"What?" Tony's brow furrowed, then he shook his head and smacked Gibbs chest. "No I wasn't lying about _that_."

"Good to hear." Gibbs smirked.

"No I need to tell you about how I found you."

"It wasn't from the records of the house and boat?"

"No." Tony shook his head, then climbed off of Gibbs and started rummaging through the duffel bag. He pulled out the letter and made his way back over to Gibbs, returning to his position on his lap. "This."

"What is it?" Gibbs asked.

"A letter." Tony paused. "From Mike."

"He told you about the boat?"

"Yeah." Tony sighed. "And a few other things."

"Like the fact I was in love with you?"

Tony nodded.

Gibbs shook his head and chuckled. "Who knew Mike was a romantic."

Tony laughed. "I don't know if I'd call him a romantic."

Pulling Tony closer, Gibbs sighed. "I don't care how you found me...I'm just glad you did."

"I wish it had been sooner." Tony let his finger trace a path down Gibbs' jaw line. "I tried to find you myself but I couldn't."

"It happened the way it was meant to happen."

"No more running off." Tony glared at Gibbs. "Got that?"

Gibbs nodded taking Tony's hands in his. "Now I would like something."

"What's that?"

"I would like to go back to where we were before Abby interrupted us." Gibbs smirked.

"So throw me down and we'll work on that." Tony grinned.

"No." Gibbs nudged Tony's shirt up over his chest. "I want you naked and upstairs in my bed."

Lifting his arms, Tony let Gibbs push the shirt over his head and toss it aside. Then Gibbs hands unbutton his shorts and slowly slid the zipper down.

"Get up." Gibbs ordered. "So I can take these off."

#################################################################################

By the time they reached the bed, Tony was naked and Gibbs was sloughing off his boxers. Kicking the offending piece of clothing aside, Gibbs grabbed Tony tossing them both onto the bed.

"Seriously." Tony sighed, laying prone under Gibbs, as he slowly kissed his way up Tony's chest. "I knew you were strong but you throw me around like a rag doll."

"Problem with that?" Gibbs asked, finally reaching Tony's neck.

"No."

Looking down at Tony, Gibbs ran his hand up Tony's ribcage.

"What are you thinking?" Tony smiled.

"How amazing you look naked in my bed." Gibbs smirked.

"Have you thought about me naked in your bed a lot?"

"Oh yeah." Gibbs nodded. "And there was one thing in particular I thought of doing to you that I plan to do right now."

"And what's that?"

Climbing off of Tony, Gibbs reached down next to the bed and grabbed something then returned. This time his legs straddling Tony's thighs as he held up the bottle.

"Really?" Tony grinned. "And what exactly do you plan to do with that?"

"Have a drink." Gibbs smirked.

Tony's eyebrow went up. He watched as Gibbs opened the bottle of Bourbon and carefully dribbled some of the liquid down his chest. Then Gibbs leaned forward licking and sucking his way up Tony's chest removing the amber liquid from Tony's body.

"Jethro." Tony groaned, his body shivering under the touch of Gibbs' lips.

Gibbs licked his lips. "Now that is how Bourbon should taste."

Tony laughed and then jumped when he felt the liquid again hit his body. This time a small puddle forming around his belly button.

Gibbs kept his eyes on Tony's, as his tongue lapped up the liquid greedily.

A small sigh escaped Tony's lips and he wiggled under Gibbs.

"So good." Gibbs smiled holding the bottle up again letting drops of the warm liquid fall on one of Tony's nipples. Quickly his tongue licked and sucked at the hardening nub.

"Oh God." Tony groaned as Gibbs moved back and forth between nipples, covering them in the Bourbon then licking and sucking them clean. After he had repeated the process several times, Gibbs lips kissed up Tony's chest bringing them face to face.

"Taste?" Gibbs asked.

Tony nodded and watched as Gibbs took a small sip from the bottle then captured his lips. The shiver traveled through Tony's entire body as their lips touched, Gibbs' mouth parted slightly to allow Tony's tongue to lick, suck and drink the liquid in.

There was just something about the taste of Bourbon from Gibbs' lips and mouth that caused Tony's cock to twitch and ache. Truth was, Tony knew why. For years, he had watched Gibbs drink Bourbon in the basement and watching Gibbs drink Bourbon was an erotic experience.

The way his lips pressed against the mug with a calm need, the way his lips parted to eagerly accept the liquid, the way he swallowed deeply imbibing the warmth of the alcohol, and the way his tongue involuntarily darted out to gather the last little bit of flavor from his lips. For years, Tony had wanted to kiss Gibbs after seeing him take a drink and finally he was getting his wish.

Grasping the back of Gibbs' head, Tony demanded more, feasting from every inch of Gibbs mouth and lips. God he never wanted to stop but the need to take in air forced him to draw back for a moment. Tony whimpered when he saw the involuntary action of Gibbs' tongue licking his lips.

"Didn't realize that would turn you on so much." Gibbs panted trying to catch his breath.

Tony nodded.

The corner of Gibbs' mouth turned up in a half smirk. "Bourbon does it for you huh?"

Tony shook his head. "You do it for me. The Bourbon is a bonus."

Gibbs leaned forward, his lips brushing against Tony's ear. "Well I want the bonus of licking Bourbon from your cock."

"God, yes." Tony sighed breathlessly.

Moving down Tony's body, Gibbs placed himself between Tony's legs, he smiled as Tony eagerly parted his legs.

Pressing Tony's cock against his stomach, Gibbs let beads of the liquid trickle down the underside of Tony's cock to his balls. Then his tongue licked slowly up Tony's balls, the base of his cock, the shaft until his tongue flicked across the head.

"Oh fuck!" Tony moaned throwing his head back, clutching at the bed sheet.

"I take it back." Gibbs growled. "That is how Bourbon should taste!"

"Jethro." Tony pleaded. He trembled when he felt Gibbs grab the base of his cock and more drops of the Bourbon run down its length.

Sitting the bottle aside, Gibbs licked his lips, then wrapped them around the head of Tony's cock.

"Yes! God yes!" Tony cried out as his hips came off the bed.

The words caused Gibbs' lips to glide down the length of Tony's shaft then back up creating a painstakingly slow pace over Tony's cock. Again, Tony's hips left the bed as he thrust into Gibbs' mouth wanting to force Gibbs to increase his efforts, but Gibbs did not like to be rushed. His hand pressed down hard on Tony's hip forcing the man to remain still. Tony tried to stop his upward motion and once Gibbs felt Tony's body settle he released his hold. His hand now free, Gibbs gently massaged Tony's balls as he continued to work over Tony's cock.

Tony grunted with need and frustration. He knew Gibbs was drawing it out, knew after just a few days together that the older man loved to tease and torture him. Knew Gibbs loved to keep him just on the edge for as long as possible. And it was the most exquisite torture Tony had ever experienced, but God he wanted to come.

Gibbs' hand left Tony's balls and drifted further down pressing two fingers against the tight puckered muscle of Tony's ass. Eagerly, Tony pushed down on the welcomed intruder and Gibbs slipped inside.

Moaning and groaning, Tony's body became an odd combination of wiggling and thrusting. Thrusting into Gibbs' mouth and wiggling to draw Gibbs' fingers in deeper. Knowing Tony was close, Gibbs bent his fingers and brushed against Tony's prostate as his mouth bobbed faster over Tony's cock.

"JETH-" The name caught in Tony's throat as the release tore through his body ripping him into a million pieces.

Without waiting for Tony to recover, Gibbs crawled up beside him, grabbed the lube from under the pillow and turned Tony on his side. Sliding his cock between Tony's ass cheeks, Gibbs pressed the head of his cock inside, again finding Tony eager to accept him. The warmth of his lover breaking any sense of patience's Gibbs had and he lunged into Tony full force.

Tony felt the air again rush from his lungs, as he reached above him wrapping a hand around a rung in the head board.

Gibbs' arm circled around Tony's waist and jerked their bodies together. A low growl tore from Gibbs' lips as he thrust in and out of Tony. His head dropped down into the space between Tony's shoulder and neck and he grunted uncontrollable. God would he ever be able to go slow with Tony? There was just something about the man that drove him mad with desire and need.

"Tony." Gibbs growled his face still buried against the younger mans neck. "God Tony."

"I know." Tony panted as he gained some sense of himself and started rocking back against Gibbs forward thrusts.

It was no use trying to stop it and Gibbs gave in, plunging his cock into Tony, screaming into Tony's neck as he came undone. His body tensing, his arm crushing Tony against his body, as his cock exploded deep inside the younger man. It was at that moment that Gibbs realized nothing with Tony would ever be slow and calm. He sighed as a quote ran through his head. It was a quote he had read years ago in some book.

_When you ask me why I cannot love you more calmly, I answer that to love you calmly is not to love you at all._

It had never made sense to him until now...until Tony. He placed a kiss on Tony's neck.

"You-." Gibbs sighed wanting to say more but not having the words.

"Tell me you are always going to want me this much?" Tony asked.

"Always." Gibbs whispered in Tony's ear. "Always."

##############################################################################

They had showered and climbed into bed, Gibbs leaving the bedside lamp on. He laid his arm around Tony, waiting for the younger man to drift off to sleep. Finally, after twenty minutes, Tony's body had relaxed and his breathing steadied. Carefully removing his arm from around Tony, Gibbs slipped out of bed and made his way to the dresser and silently opened the top drawer. Rummaging around inside for a moment his fingers made contact with what he wanted. Returning to the bed, he sat down and leaned his back against the head board. Peering down, he smiled as Tony snored softly.

Turning his attention to the item in his hand, he sighed. He hadn't planned on reading this for a long time. Holding up the envelope he stared at the return name and address. _Mike Franks, Mexico_. The letter had come the day after Mike's funeral. He couldn't bring himself to read it then, Hell, he probably wouldn't have read it for months if Tony hadn't told him about his letter. As quietly as possible, Gibbs opened the envelope and pulled out the letter. He unfolded the paper and a picture dropped into his lap. Picking it up, he chuckled softly when he saw the image. He shook his head and placed the picture on the nightstand. Holding open the letter he started to read.

_Well Probie there's only one reason you're reading this letter, that's because DiNozzo found you and told you about the one I wrote him. Otherwise, this damn thing would have sat in a drawer for months, maybe even years before you opened it. You'd think a letter from a dead man would spark your curiosity, but hell no, toss it in a draw and forget about it. You're a pain in the goddamn ass!_

Gibbs silenced a chuckle.

_Thankfully, DiNozzo's not as much of a pain in the ass and actually gives a shit when he gets a letter from a dead guy. I knew the letter would freak him out, knew he'd read it, and knew he'd actually listen. Something you never did. I told him everything. Told him you loved him, have for a long time. Told him the reasons you wouldn't admit it. Then told him I knew he felt the same way, knew he loved you._

_I even warned him if he found you anger would get ugly, that he'd take a beating from you emotionally, but I knew he'd still wanna be the one to get you through it. The crazy son of a bitch loves you, would do anything for you. So I gave him the address of the house in D.C. and the name of the Marina, knew he'd find you at one of them._

_I'm sure by now DiNozzo's already been face down in the mattress screaming your name. He's probably laying there next to you in a sex induced coma, because I'm sure after ten fucking years of denying everything, the pent of sexual tension probably about killed you both._

Gibbs rolled his eyes. Mike always so tactful.

_It's not that I wanted to have to play cupid for you two dumb ass's, but something had to be done. You two walking around hiding that you were all starry eyed over each other was starting to piss me off. Hell, that was probably what finally made me clutch my chest and fall over dead. Never seen two men so damn stubborn about being in love. Love is love Probie, doesn't matter how you get your rocks off._

_Alright, I need to get on with this, got better things to do. Life is short Probie, too short to waste it on not being happy. You deserve to be happy, whether you believe it or not. Yeah you're a bastard, a pain in the ass, and a son of a bitch sometimes, but you still deserve to be happy and loved. And the man laying there next to you, well he loves you in spite of it all._

Glancing at Tony, Gibbs smiled.

_You can't fuck this up Probie, he loves you too much to let you. DiNozzo, he'll drive you fucking crazy some days. Those endless movie references, that annoying lack of focus he has a lot of the time, and that Cheshire fucking grin that lets him get away with way more than he should. But in the end, it'll be the best kinda crazy you could ever ask for. And you, well you'll have countless days were you act like a bastard and he'll wanna rip your goddamn head off. He won't, but he'll seriously consider it. Oh and you two will fight. You'll fight , fight like the damn world is coming to an end, but when it's over you'll both know you still love each other. And you'll remember how fucking amazing make-up sex is and everything will be right with the world again._

_So don't mourn my sorry ass, because I'm up here smokin', drinking and getting laid more than I could ever dream of. Got a little place right on the edge of Heaven, fishing off a cloud with some hot little senorita at my side. Liam on the cloud next to us._

_Take care of our girls down there and I'll take care of yours up here. I'll let them know you finally let yourself be happy again._

Clenching his jaw, Gibbs tried not to let the tears fall as he read the last few lines of the letter.

_Everything you've just went through wasn't really about my death, well in some way it was, but really my death was just a catalyst. Sometimes it's about more than the obvious._

_Now put down this damn letter, wake up the pretty boy and make love like the world is coming to an end._

Gibbs rubbed his hands down his face, letting them take away the remaining tears. Picking up the picture again, he grinned. It was a picture of Mike, Tony and himself in Abby's lab. She had snapped it on her phone when the three of them were standing over the table looking at evidence. Somehow she had gotten all three of them to look up at the same time, all of them with a slight smirk on their lips. Leaning the picture up against the bedside lamp, Gibbs rolled onto his side and enveloped Tony into his arms. The younger man stirred slightly, his fingers playing across the arm at his waist.

Placing his lips at Tony's ear, Gibbs whispered. "I love you."

Tony purred.

"And I want you."

Another purr, this time Tony pressing himself back against Gibbs' groin.

"I wanna make love to you again."

"They why aren't you doing it already." Tony sighed reaching back and clawing at Gibbs' hip.

"Because I wanted to make sure you were up." Gibbs chuckled.

Taking Gibbs' hand, Tony dragged it down and placed it over his hard cock. "I'm up."

"Yes you are." Gibbs moaned as he started stroking Tony's cock.

"Jethro make love to me." Tony purred again.

"I will" Gibbs sighed. "Like the world is ending."

_**The quote that Gibbs thinks of is from Jeanette Winterson's book Written on the Body.**_


End file.
